Comedy Festival

As autumn swings into winter, it’s time to look indoors for our entertainment options. To satisfy this need, the New Zealand International Comedy Festival is in its 33^rd year. International, as it includes many overseas performers, gracing us with their presence, as well as nationally-known and up-and-coming New Zealanders…and even internationally-known New Zealanders!

First cab off the rank, at least as far as we were concerned, was Nish Kumar. Unfortunately, New Zealand’s weather decided otherwise, and a storm that hit New Zealand caused the closure of the venue on the night we’d booked. The show was rescheduled to the following night, but at 10:30pm we figured it was way past our bedtime, so we took the refund instead. Bugger. I was looking forward to that one.

No matter, the following week we were booked to see Hayley Sproull, or Hayley Everything as she should be known, as she seems to be doing everything these days. We first saw her when Miss Fletcher Sang The Blues in - crikey! - 2012! But since then she’s gone from strength to strength, with many hit stand-up shows, and starring in New Zealand comedies; participating in and hosting panel shows (7 Days, Have You Been Paying Attention?), and hosting the annual Comedy Gala for the last two years. She also has a radio show. She’s a busy woman! Her show, Baroness, was the by-now-familiar mix of over-sharing and stories of the DINK lifestyle, culminating in a date with Jason Momua.

The following night we were at Circa Theatre. Whilst not technically part of the Comedy Festival, they’re currently performing the comedic Give Way: The Musical. Nicola was on ushering duties, so we went along. This also gave us the opportunity to try out ChouChou, the new brasserie attached to the theatre, which has recently had a makeover. I had the snapper salad Nicoise, and Nicola had chicken Cordon Bleu. Note to any aspiring chefs out there: snapper is not a good substitute for tuna in a Nicoise.

The musical follows the adventures of Sophie, a newly-minted graduate in Traffic Management Engineering. She is anxious to make her mark on the world, and when the opportunity to revamp New Zealand’s weird give way rules presents itself, she leaps at it. The musical is based on a true story, in that the give way rules were changed in 2012 to fit in with what the rest of the world does. There’s a love story, inevitably; as well as protests, conniving, popularity-seeking, mental health, and insights into public policy-making which seem far-fetched but are probably true. A cast of five Circa stalwarts play all the parts, of which there were many: each actor had a main character, but also had to fill in for Sophie’s parents, The Minister of Transport, and other roles as required. All jolly good fun, and with the high production values we’ve come to expect from Circa.

We had a night off, then plunged back into the fray on Saturday night, going to see The Tape Face Show. We first saw Sam Wills when he was but a boy, called The Boy With Tape On His Face. He has since shortened his name and reached an international audience after reaching the finals on America’s Got Talent. His show is performed entirely without words, as you might expect, but there’s a lot of music (it helps to be familiar with what the songs are and the films associated with them), and a lot of audience participation. We were safe from this aspect as he generally needed people to be on or near the end of their row to be able to get up on stage, and we were well-placed in the centre of ours. He also played some of the classics, including Endless Love. We did, however, participate in the finale of the show, which involved 99 Red Balloons. Go see him if you get the chance, he’s hilarious!

Our final foray was something a little different – a comedy cabaret show called Revel at the Hannah Playhouse. They’d rearranged things inside from the usual tiered seating to provide an enlarged performance area centred on the bar, and some seating on the level with more tiered seating at the back. Revel is the name of the bar, or Speakeasy, and we were encouraged to arrive early to take advantage of the bar and have a cocktail. A jazz band was playing as we entered.

The bar was cleared for the performance, which included singing, dancing, comedy, burlesque, acrobatics and circus trickery; performed by a troupe of six. There was an interval when the bar was briefly open for business again, and then cleared away very quickly to allow the performance to continue. It was all jolly good fun and certainly a bit different from your standard comedy routines.

That’s about it for this year’s fest – but there’s plenty more entertainment to come over the winter in the nation’s cultural capital!

Taking It Seriously

New Zealanders take their sport seriously. Very seriously. They also take women’s sport seriously – far more so than in the UK.

Prompted by an ad I heard on the radio, I looked up Whitcoull’s (one of the large bookshop chains here) top five books at the moment:

1. The Free Range Cook – Annabel Longbein: NZ cook publishes cookbook to go with her TV programme in time for Christmas, unsurprisingly popular.
2. Dead Or Alive – Tom Clancy: international bestseller…er…best-sells.
3. Coasters – Al Brown: Kiwi chef goes coastal, writes book.
4. Rescue – Anita Shreve: internationally-renowned author writes another book.
5. Greatest Moments In NZ Netball History – Michael Binum: does what it says on the tin.

Yes, you read that right.

Ossum

Ossum, which rhymes with possum, is a word used in New Zealand to mean any number of things, from “thankyou” to “OK” to “that really is the coolest thing, ever”. We were out shopping today, and in one shop we bought an item that cost $7.50. After paying for it, the sales girl said “ossum”. To my mind, that’s not particularly ossum. Ossum would be to buy stock to the value of several hundred, nay thousand, dollars.

Later, I bought some wine off the internet. On completing this transaction, I was informed that some ossum wine was now winging its way to me. OK, they spelled it correctly on their web page, but even so, it seemed a bit of a strong claim. Whilst I appreciate their efforts to big up all the wine that they sell, not all of it is going to be ossum. To be honest, I bought the stuff because it was cheap (OK, on special offer, but even so) and it’s just an ordinary, weekday glugging wine.

If it turns out to be ossum, I’ll let you know.

In the meanwhile, here’s a picture of the bucket fountain in Wellington:

That’s quite impressive. But is it ossum?

The Rugby Match

On Friday, we went to watch a rugby match. No, not the All Blacks, nor even the Wellington Lions, but the annual Treasury against Land Information NZ (or “Linz” as they are popularly known) match. This fixture is over 100 years old, between the two oldest departments of the NZ Civil Service. We got on the number 2 bus, and headed out to Hataitai Park on a sunny spring afternoon.

Hataitai is a pleasant suburb of Wellington; I’d been there once before when I was getting my medical done for my visa application. It is also home to Wellington’s oldest rugby club, called (unsurprisingly) Wellington Football Club. We found the location without too much difficulty, having stopped along the way to take some photos.

When we got there, we were somewhat dismayed by the lack of activity. It was ten minutes to kick-off, and there was no sign of anyone on the pitch, and a worrying lack of cars in the car park; time to make some calls back to the Treasury to check that we’re in the right place.

“The match has been moved to the artificial pitch at Newtown”, we were informed. “Great”, I thought. “That’s not far away. Do you know where the pitch is?” A further phone call elicited the response that it was on John Street. As I had taken the precaution of bringing a map with me, I was able to locate it, and we set off on foot. The route was basically round the base of Mount Victoria (we could have gone up and over, but it was particularly muddy after the rains of yesterday, so we decided against that).

We finally arrived at John Street, and immediately started casting about for the location of the rugby club. We found it eventually, and managed to catch the last 10 minutes of the match. Treasury lost 10-12, having missed a penalty in the dying seconds of the game.

The game ended before I could get a decent action shot.

Afterwards, we were invited to Linz’ offices in Lambton Quay, where there were drinks to be had and prizes were handed out. There had also been two netball matches (women’s and mixed) played between the two departments. Treasury managed to lose both of those as well. Nevertheless, there was a good spirit of camaraderie between the two departments…we got the impression that the Treasury had done rather better than they usually do. Linz let slip the fact that they had been practising, which we felt was a bit unfair.

They Do Things Differently Here

They take netball seriously. The Silver Ferns are currently in a 3-match test series against Australia (the “Diamonds”) which is drawn one all at the moment, with the decider on Sunday.

How seriously do they take it? NZ’s top domestic drama series, This Is Not My Life, was moved from its regular 8:30pm slot for the netball to be broadcast live on tvnz One. That’s serious.

Farmer's Market

Having been a little disappointed by the market at Hill Street last weekend, we set out to the market at Te Papa http://www.harboursidemarket.co.nz/ to see if it was any better…and it is! Much larger, with lots of stalls selling the usual array of fruit and vegetables, as well as some stalls selling other types of produce. Fish was available fresh off the boat as well.

We need to organise our food buying a bit better to take advantage of this, as it’s only a short walk away from where we live. As it is, we bought some herbs (Vietnamese mint, kaffir lime leaves, galangal and coriander) to use with the groper I’d bought a couple of days ago.

Whilst we were in the area, we also popped into Te Papa to see and read about the colossal squid on display there (insert your own joke about calamari here).

Yes, those are people in the tank where it was being defrosted. 

They Do Things Differently Here

It’s the season for sales here in Wellington, and a number of shops are advertising on television. One thing that I noticed was that some shops were selling “Manchester”. At first, I took this to be a brand name, but it kept cropping up. “Blimey, Manchester must be a popular brand – all the shops are selling it!” I thought. But it’s not.

A prize of 100 internets to the first person who can tell me what Manchester is.

Home Blog

Yes, this is the first blog that I’ve actually been able to post from the comfort of my own home! Telstra have finally connected us to the telephone and internetworks, so no more USB sticks and internet cafés for me!

As a consequence of this, I ordered food off the internet for the first time here. The websites and ordering process aren’t as slick as UK online grocery sites – in many respects, technology and internet stuff seems to lag behind by a few years here. I’ll see how good they are at not substituting items, and delivering on time (2.5 hour delivery slots! Sheesh! You don’t know how spoilt you are with your ocado.com!) when it arrives on Monday.

Technology: they’re just about starting to do television broadcasts in HD. Sky, who usually lead in these things, won’t be broadcasting full HD until next year, apparently. And we might be getting DAB radio next year as well.

They Do Things Differently Here

For a country that is one of the largest dairy producers in the world, the range of cheese on offer is disappointing. Cheese seems to come in 4 flavours: Edam, Swiss, Colby, and Tasty. After that you have to go looking for expensive handmade cheeses, or imported cheese, so far as I can tell. I shall have to investigate further.

They Do Things Differently Here

Yesterday, I went out and explored Wellington more - in particular, the Cuba and Courtenay Place districts of central Wellington. This is where most of the bars and restaurants are, as well as the more bohemian boutiques and music venues. Really, we need to go there at night to get the full flavour of the area. I also found more mundane places, such as where to buy household items and hardware, which will come in handy.

In the evening we stayed in, so instead of telling you all about that in detail, here's the first in an occasional series called:

They Do Things Differently Here

Well, yes. Every country you go to does some things in a different way – not necessarily better or worse, just different. Things I’ve noticed so far:

The moon is upside down. OK, that’s logical when you think about it, but, to be honest, who does think of it?

Similarly, the sun goes from right to left.

The colours on the lids of milk are different. Instead of red=full milk, green=semi-skimmed, and blue=skimmed, we have dark blue=full milk, light blue=slim milk, green=99.9% fat-free. Does every country have a different colour coding system? My international followers can tell me in the comments.

The adverts on tv include agricultural products.

And, yiss, they do talk funny.