Bret McKenzie

Who he? Once a member of Flight Of The Conchords, and former band member of The Black Seeds, Bret has been a New Zealand icon since, like, ages ago. He’s won an Oscar for Best Original Song, and is generally a good bloke. He’s playing some solo shows in support of his new album, Freak Out City, with two shows in Wellington, his home town, in a converted Salvation Army Citadel turned gig venue, Meow Nui. What’s not to like? 

We were originally planning to go for dinner at Charley Noble, a venue I regularly slag off to visitors and locals alike. I used to go there for lunch when I worked at ANZ and have always been unimpressed by the place. And yet…it keeps being mentioned as a Top 10 place to go in Wellington, and Second Cousin Lauren has recently started working there, so I thought we’d give it another try.  But a quick look at the map said otherwise – I’d thought the concert venue was much closer. Another time, perhaps. We ended up in what is becoming a regular haunt, Cuba Street Tavern. They were quite busy, and they’ve changed up the format a little since we were last there – fewer sharing plates, and more main courses. Nevertheless, we made our selection (despite the absence of oysters – they’d run out), and waited. And waited. Eventually, after prompting the waiter, they brought all the food out at once. Previously they’d been of the type to bring things out as they were prepared. The problem this time round was that the chicken skewers were cold. I told the waiter, who told the chef, who (a) served us some hot ones and (b) removed them from the bill. So a slight blot on their copybook there.

We walked around the corner to Meow Nui, where there was a queue. I thought doors opened at 7:00pm, but was clearly misled in this regard. We found some good seats, and then visited the bar for a beer whilst waiting. Around 8:00pm, Bret wanders onto the stage, says “hi”, and starts playing his guitar. A minute later a couple of backing singers wandered on and started giving backing vocals. Then a drummer and a bass player, followed by keyboardist, brass section (sax and trombone), and an electric guitarist, as the song reached its crescendo and everyone was playing. So in the end there were nine of them in the band including Bret. Quite an ensemble!

He played a number of songs old and new, but it was the banter in between that really marked out the gig. He was a member of a comedy ensemble, and this shows. He told us about how they’d (by which he means, he’d) forgotten to bring any merch to one of their shows in the US, so instead started handing out Whittaker’s chocolate bars for the audience to break a piece off and pass around. This then became a thing, and they had to ask everyone coming from New Zealand to bring some Whittaker’s chocolate for them at each gig. They did the same in Australia, but, as he explained, the Aussies weren’t as stoked by this because you can actually get Whittaker’s in Australia, apparently. Nevertheless they continued to do it in New Zealand, and, after hearing about this from the previous night, were stunned when Tiffany from Whittaker’s showed up with a whole bagful of chocolate for the second Wellington show (i.e. the one we were at). So we enjoyed our Whittaker’s chocolate during the show.

If you’re one of my international readers and have never tried Whittaker’s chocolate, try to get hold of some…it’s bloody good!

He also got a volunteer from the audience to help him out with one of his songs. Turned out he’d recruited a Wellington actor (who may have positioned himself deliberately), Tiaki Sharp, so he was able to give a lot of acting ability to his part.

A little later, Bret invited another member of the audience to share a story so he could make up a song on the spot. Owen (I think) provided a tale of heartbreak from his first weeks at university, when he broke up with his girlfriend Sharone, and to ease the pain bought her some mint slice biscuits and a bunch of flowers. Bret wove this into a song: “Sharone, we should’ve broke up by phone” and “mint slices, to ease your emotional crisis” featured in it.

He also played his Oscar-winning song, complete with voices: Man Or Muppet?, and another song in which he parodied Morrissey, Everyone Is Horrid Except Me (and Possibly You), which has, apparently, earned him the lasting enmity of Steven Patrick. He didn’t give the impression that he was bothered by this.

And then – surprise! – Jemaine Clement appeared on stage, and they reprised one of the Flight Of The Conchords songs together: The Most Beautiful Girl (in the Room).

They left the stage but were back in what seemed microseconds to perform a two-song encore, before the lights came up. That set list in full can be found here.

Right, I’ve ordered the new album, should be here in a couple of days.

 

More Cricket

The Black Caps series against South Africa went down to the wire with the fifth match in Christchurch, where the South Africans put on a display of batting, reaching a total of 187. Not an impossible task, but they were able to contain the New Zealand batters. Wickets fell regularly and no-one was able to get a real total going. Eventually they achieved 154 in response. South Africa won the match by 33 runs, and the series 3-2. 

But that’s not what we want to see! The White Ferns had already wrapped up their series 3-1 in Wellington, and performed another demolition, setting a total of 194 and then bowling the South Africans out for 109, a 92 run margin of victory, to give a 4-1 series score.

They then moved onto the longer 50 over format a few days later, again in Christchurch, where South Africa exacted their revenge. The White Ferns batted first, and set, by their standards, a modest total of 268 for their opponents to hit. They made a good start with a wicket in the first over, and both openers out for 30, but South Africa then put on 122 runs for the third wicket. The Ferns never managed to slow them down, and despite losing wickets regularly, they had a relatively easy path, until the pre-penultimate over: needing 24 off the last three overs, they scored just two, and lost a wicket. Suddenly, the equation is 22 from 2 overs. They scored 8 in the 49^th over, leaving 14 from the last over. A couple of singles and a six , then a couple of dot balls, left South Africa needing a six off the last ball. There was a long talk out in the middle between Suzie Bates and her captain, Melie Kerr. Unfortunately she bowled a sitter which Reyneke slogged for the required six. South Africa won, by two wickets, off the final ball.

On to Wellington for the final two matches of the series, and the South Africans have their tails up. It was an absolutely stunning day, with early cloud clearing to perfect blue skies all round. There was a nagging southerly breeze so it was a good job we were inside, in the Long Room.

This time, wickets didn’t fall. Although they lost their opener, Tazmin Brits, for 9, the second wicket partnership between opener and captain Laura Woolvardt and Anneke Bosch took them to 167/2, and even after that partnerships continued, with South Africa finally setting a total of 346/6. This was not helped by at least six – SIX! – chances going down. OK, some of them were hard chances, but in many cases the ball bounced out of the fingers. Coach Rory recommends some catching practice before the final match!

South Africa had set the White Ferns a mountain to climb: the biggest run chase in Women’s cricket. The previous most successful was India’s chasing down of 339 against Australia in 2025. A massive run rate of almost seven an over was required. The loss of Suzie Bates early put them at 21/1, and onto the pitch walks Melie Kerr.

What happened next was just…staggering. First, a 52 run partnership before Georgia Plimmer was out for 23, and then, having lost Green and Halliday for relatively low totals, put on a 120 run partnership with Izzy Gaze for the 5^th wicket. Gaze was striking the ball well, making 68 off 49 balls. The total was now 250/5, with 12 overs remaining. Still quite a total to reach, at 8 runs per over. But this is Melie Kerr we’re talking about, and she continued to build partnerships – 40 with Izzy Sharp and 39 with sister Jess Kerr. They needed 18 runs off the last two overs. They took six from the 49^th, and were left needing 12 off the final. Two fours off the first two balls brought it within reach – just three needed off the last four. A scampered two left the scores tied with three to go. No messing, Melie Kerr hit it for four, to win the match and level the series 1-1, with two balls in hand. Kerr finished on 179 not out, having scored over half the runs required herself.  

After the match, the accolades flowed, as all the records achieved were talked over. Amazingly, this isn’t even Melie Kerr’s highest score in an ODI! She achieved 232 not out against minnows Ireland in 2018 – but this is against one of the world’s top teams. It’s the highest successful run chase in women’s cricket. Ever.

The next match, the decider, is again in Wellington, on Saturday. We’ll be going along, and expecting fireworks!