Coco’s Green Burger

This Burger Welly thing is hard! You start off with the best-laid plans, and, like mice, you find them ganging aglay all over the place!

Today we thought we’d hit up the Maranui Café’s offering, The Duke. So, apparently, did everyone else on the south coast. The queue wasn’t quite out the door, but we’d probably have had a half hour wait for a table. Ah well.

We drove back to the Miramar CBD and walked round to Coco At The Roxy. They could accommodate us, so we took our seats and studied the menu for all of five seconds before ordering two burgers. Their burger is called Coco’s Green Burger. It’s described like this on the WOAP website: Monkfish tikka with organic lemon compote, spiced onion and house cultured raita with chickpea chips and kiwiberry chutney. It looked like this:

  

Several things are obvious straight away: this ain’t no meatburger, and those ain’t real chips. Also, those are falafels, which seem to be a bonus addition. The fish was nicely spiced, and the chips were good. The “spiced onion” was in fact a kind of flat onion bhaji, and very tasty. The kiwiberry chutney had a good sourness to it, not overly sweet. The green bun was a bit weird, but tasted OK. This is my first “non-standard” type burger of this year’s adventures, and it’s a good one. I rate it a 9.

There wasn’t an official Garage Project beer match, but I thought I’d have one anyway, so the waiter recommended Bliss lager, which was fine.

Wagyu Wonder!

In between gigs on Tuesday, I found myself in Wellington CBD and with an hour on my hands. Time to pop into Pico Eatery & Bar, the establishment that sprang from the ashes of Zibibbo, one of our favourite haunts of yore. Pico is a more casual establishment, and I’m not sure how long it’s going to last: every time I go there it seems to be empty. Either it gets real busy of an evening, or it’s not long for this town. In the cut-throat world of Wellington hospitality, it wouldn’t be the first and won’t be the last to succumb. The fact that the owners seem to be concentrating their efforts on Union Square in the Martinborough Hotel doesn’t bode well.

Nevertheless, I thought I’d give their Burger Welly entry a go. It’s called Wagyu Wonder! And it’s described like this on the WOAP website:  Wagyu beef patty with double smoked Cheddar and truffled onion jam in a brioche bun, with triple cooked fries and smoked Cheddar fondue. It looks like this:

 

The Garage Project beer match was Fuzz Box, but as I had to work in the afternoon, I decided against it.

So, how was it? As I’ve found previously with their burgers, there’s no point in messing about trying to eat it with your hands. So straight in with the knife and fork. This was an above-average cheese burger, with smoked cheese, none of that pesky lettuce stuff which some people seem to think should be in a burger, and great skinny fries. It definitely gets the thumbs up from me, and I scored it an 8.

Colonel Mustard In the Kitchen

…with a can of sauerkraut. This is the unlikely name of Café Polo’s Burger Wellington offering. Yes, Wellington On A Plate has moved onto phase two, the Burger competition, replacing the festival dishes of the last two weeks.

I’d been working a morning shift up at Zealandia, so I was mightily hungry. Nicola had met me there and we decided to try a burger at Café Polo for lunch. As it was literally Day One of the Burger Wellington fortnight I deemed it prudent to call ahead and book a table. Just as well I did, as there were almost, but not completely, full. We managed to park nearby, and ran across the road in the rain to take our table.

The Colonel Mustard In The Kitchen With A Can Of Sauerkraut burger is described like this on the WOAP website: “Wagyu beef patty with smoked cheese, American mustard, sauerkraut and spicy pickles in a sesame seed milk bun, with spiced shoestring fries.” It’s matched with Garage Project Golden Path - Juicy Session Hazy IPA. It looks like this:

That is a tasty-looking burger. We dived straight in. The American mustard had been beefed up from the usual mildly-flavoured yellow gunk, and had a bit of a bite to it. I worried that the sauerkraut would make it too slippery, but the bun was well-constructed and burger integrity held out to the final bite. The spiced fries were crisp, and, in my opinion, somewhat over-spiced…I think they were a bit overpowering and could have benefitted from dialling back a little on the chilli. Nevertheless, it was a good burger, and I scored it an 8. The Garage Project beer was also good, a cloudy IPA with bags of flavour.

But wait…what’s with the name? Sounds a bit Cluedo-ish, doesn’t it? And you’d be right, because with the burger comes a game sheet, and each player gets a chance to try and guess who the murderer is. There’s a list of names, which seem to be based around Café Polo staff, and locations, including the environs and rooms at Café Polo. Finally, among the traditional murder weapons are a number of food-related implements. I chose Lady Lancaster in the staff room, with the frozen pineapple. What’s the point of this? Well, if you guess the correct combination, the burger’s on the house! Needless to say, we failed to guess correctly.

That's one burger down, 231 to go. Yep, there are 232 burgers to choose from this year. Unlike in previous years, I'm not going to be able to go out and get one every lunchtime, so it'll be a bit more leisurely this time around. Nevertheless, I'm hoping to fit a few more in over the coming fortnight.

Burn Her

Burn Her is a new political thriller from one of New Zealand’s young playwrights, Sam Brooks. It was written in 2016 and first performed in 2018. It is Circa Theatre’s headline production for August.

It’s a long play, so we decided to dine first at Capitol. As Wellington On A Plate is in full swing, we decided to have their Cocktail Wellington cocktail, Wild Fennel Fizz, which comes with a kahawai escabeche, as a starter. I then chose their festival dish, wild venison and tuatua pie. It was damn tasty. Nicola had the penne integrale.

We made it through the rain to Circa in the nick of time, collected our tickets, and headed up to row H. Normally we’re in row B or C at Circa, but this production has been selling phenomenally well. 6:30 came and went…and went…and went. After about 10 minutes, we figured that something was seriously wrong. Right on cue, the stage manager comes out and tells us that unfortunately, one of the principal actors has been taken ill and is unable to perform. This is New Zealand, not the West End, so there’s no understudy to seize their moment in the limelight. The SM is very apologetic, and tells us that if we wish to stay we can still take part in the Q&A that was scheduled to take place after the play with a Green Party MP, and either get a refund or reschedule for another night. We decided we didn’t need to hear a Green MP debate “ishoos”, so headed for the box office and rebooked for the following Thursday.  

The next week, we decided to follow the same plan, and booked Field & Green, renamed Campo & Verde for the duration of WOAP. Unfortunately, there had been a rail breakdown earlier in the day and, combined with a  crash on SH2, Wellington’s traffic had come to a virtual standstill. We finally made it into the city with barely 10 minutes before the play started, having called the restaurant to cancel our booking and heading straight to Circa.

Blimey! What a palaver! Right, let’s get to the play.

It’s election night, and the New Zealand Labour party have won an election but, more importantly, the newly-formed Aroha Party have also gained a single seat in the new parliament. Their MP, Aria Robson, is celebrating with former Labour backbencher Richard Miller, who joined Aroha but has failed to win a seat; and her PR, George, still too busy for a glass of bubbles with the party leader.

It’s getting late when intern Danny asks to speak to the leader. He drops a bombshell. What he says, and how he and said bombshell are subsequently treated, are the MacGuffin. George, as PR, takes upon herself some decisions which should come from Aria; and the consequences of those decisions form the heart of the play. George and Aria fight constantly, as George insists she is trying to do her job and protect both her MP and her party from the possible outcomes of Danny’s revelation. In the process, they also cover the “it’s different for girls” aspects, as, if the events had happened with different genders in the different roles, much of what they are trying to do wouldn’t be happening. But in an age of @metoo, should it matter whether it’s male or female?

Muddying the waters is George’s opposite number in the Labour Party, who is scheming and conniving her own way to get a different set of objectives, but involving George, and also a Stuff political reporter, in a twist to the plot.

It’s all very topical, and it’s interesting to note that this play was written before the current Labour government had reached power after the 2017 election. It sheds light on what really goes on in the back corridors of power, and is not without its comedic moments, but ultimately, it bears a lot of resemblance to the analogy of the sausage factory: people who like sausages really shouldn’t visit one to see how they’re made.

It was late when we emerged, so we crossed the road for a quick dinner at Hot Sauce, where I had their Festival dish. Then headed home through the miraculously clear streets.

Bousouki Night

Wellington On A Plate is in full swing, and we went along to a Greek night at Oikos, our local Greek restaurant, for a Bousouki Night of Greek food and entertainment. We arrived just before 7pm, and were seated at a table with another party of three. We were immediately served with a shot of ouzo, and then ordered some wine, before the food started coming out.

We had a fairly traditional Greek-style meal, with courses brought out individually. The bouzouki band were playing away – I’d like to say “in the background” but they were amplified slightly too high, and our table was next to one of the speakers, which made communication a challenge. Still, we managed.

We had olives, taramasalata, fried halloumi, prawns in tomato sauce, chicken kebabs, and lamb kleftiko, followed by baklava. The baklava, usually a very sweet pastry, was almost savoury with only a hint of sweetness about it, and more of a nutty flavour, which made it better.

During and between courses, the waiters provided entertainment with Greek dancing, and culminating in the inevitable plate-smashing. We were provided with rose petals to scatter over the bouzouki player as he went from table to table, and a plates of our own to hurl to the floor.

Temperament Of Temperatures

And they’re off! Yes, Wellington On A Plate is here for 2019, and it’s in a new format this year (I can tell you’re interested already). In previous years, restaurateurs have complained, they spent a lot of time and money preparing a festival menu with festival dishes, which was largely ignored by the general public. “Why?” I hear you ask. “Why is a specially-created dish/menu, made with local ingredients, and offered at a reasonable price, ignored by the general public?” Dear reader, I’ll tell you: it’s due to the runaway success of Burger Wellington. This is the competition in which restaurants try to out-do each other with their burger creations, and tempt the general public to vote for them for the ultimate prize of Best Burger. “Why is that an issue?” you ask. Because the two promotions ran concurrently, is why. And dear old Joe Public only has limited resources of both time and money to spend on WOAP food, and was invariably taking the burger option; leaving the festival menus unloved and uneaten.

To counter this, the festival has been split into two parts: for the first two weeks, only the festival dishes are available, and for the second two weeks, only burgers. This means that the festival now runs for four weeks, not two, and allows for more of the other special events, dégustations, and related happenings to take place in a more relaxed fashion.

Temperament Of Temperatures is an event at Bambuchi, in Hataitai. It’s described as “Take your senses on a journey of temperatures and disregard everything you think you know about what hot and cold food should be. Eat your welcome drink, then enjoy three-courses of backwards temperature dishes that will confuse and delight your eyes and palate. You’ll leave wondering how did that happen?”

We arrived early and waited at the bar until the 5:30 sitting had cleared out, then took our seats at a table with two other couples. We introduced ourselves and chatted a bit before the first item on the agenda.

There was no printed menu, but the courses were written up on the blackboard: 

Jonny Taggart, the chef, came out of the kitchen, gave a short introduction to the night, and told us that when he first put together this menu, it was the middle of summer, and he’d just acquired a new ice-cream maker. This accounts for most of the dishes, normally served hot, being cold.

He then explained about the first course: a Caesar, apparently, is what Canadians call a Bloody Mary. Yes, the chef is Canadian. We won’t hold that against him. The cocktail is a frozen Bloody Mary mix made with clamato juice, and we were provided with a shot of vodka to pour over it. We also had a handy aerosol pump of vodka, to do with as we pleased. Some of us squirted it onto the glass, others directly into their mouths (one missed, and snorted). It was a very spicy drink, a bit too much for one of our table, but we enjoyed it.

Next up was an appetiser of corn crème brûlée with sweetened bacon. Very tasty.

  

The third course was a typical millennial breakfast dish: smashed avocado, poached egg, feta cheese on toast. The avocado was in the form of a popsicle, and the egg was sweetened and served on a bed of lemon sherbet (the white); whilst the toast was a rye powder crumb, dried beetroot, and a feta cheese panna cotta.

The fourth course was courgette cheesecake, with edible flowers, black olive soil and dried black sesame seeds. 

The final course was a frozen smoked venison ice-cream, served with pea puree, carrot gel, kale chips and a potato foam. The smoky flavour was really strong, yet the ice-cream melted in your mouth where you expected to be chewing on a piece of meat! Weird.

Afterwards, the chef came out again, we had a brief chat, he thanked us all for coming, we thanked him and gave a round of applause before heading out into the night. A jolly night out, and a good one to start our WOAP adventure for this year.

All Blacks vs. Springboks

This year’s Rugby Championship is the shortened form of the competition, as there is a Rugby World Cup later in the year – in Japan, starting in September. Instead of playing each team twice (once at home and once away), they only play once, so each result is crucial. New Zealand will still play Australia twice, as they always play an extra match for the Bledisloe Cup.

The All Blacks have set their sights on the RWC, so they have been treating the Championship very much as a testing ground for new players in the squad, and new combinations. Following the loss of Damien McKenzie to injury earlier in the year, there has been much debate about how to fill the number 10 and number 15 jerseys. The solution, at least for this game, was to put Richie Mo’unga in as first five-eighth and move Beauden Barrett to full back.

It was a clear but chilly night as we approached the stadium. We’d set out in plenty of time to avoid any possible traffic hold-ups, and also to try and secure a parking space in or secret parking space place. Which we managed with no problem...although there was a difficulty after we'd got in, with a breakdown of the barcode readers on the gates, which caused a lot of people to miss the beginning of the game.

We also had time to get some dinner before the game, and went upstairs to the mezzanine bar, which has slightly better food than the typical pies, fish’n’chips etc. served from the main food stations. Although they’re upping their game down there as well with a bit more variety (we had Piri Weepu’s burgers downstairs on a previous occasion).

Then we took our seats. As I’d booked early, we were actually in pretty good seats, near the front and in the corner were the teams come out. Fortunately it was a dry night as there is no cover that far down.

All Blacks perform the haka

To the game: it was actually pretty forgettable. Both sides defended ferociously, and the Boks had the best of it in the first half, keeping the ABs out of their 22 for nearly the whole half. The Boks went for the goal kicks on two occasions, both successful, to lead  6-0 after the first 10 minutes, and it stayed that way until a 37^th minute breakout from Barrett, who used his speed to cover most of the ground to the line before passing to Goodhue to dot down. Barrett added the conversion and they led going into halftime at 7-6. In the second half, Barrett increased the lead with a penalty before handing over kicking duties to Mo’unga, who put another three points on. Meanwhile, the Boks had also pulled one back and in the final minute it looked like the ABs had ground out a win with the score at 16-9.  But there was an intercept, and suddenly a two-on-one situation, with the ball in the air. Aaron Smith tried to get to it, missed, and Jantjies, the smallest Springbok on the field, managed to juggle the ball and not knock-on to go over for a try in the final minute. Pollard converted and the scores were level, and the hooter had gone.

The only other notable event of the second half was the injury to Brodie Retalllick’s shoulder. But this has since been found to be not as serious as first thought, so he looks likely to be fit in time for the World Cup.

Not the world’s greatest game of rugby, but a useful testing ground for a squad that will continue to be whittled down before the World Cup. The All Blacks face South Africa again in their first game of the competition, so this gives them a useful calibration of what they will be facing.