The Lobster

There’s not usually much on at the theatre at the beginning of the year, as they close for the Christmas and New Year break, and then re-open with a rerun of the Christmas panto. However, BATS are putting stuff on, and one of those is The Lobster – a stage adaptation of the film starring Colin Farrell, Rachel Weisz, and Olivia Colman. I’ve seen the film, and it’s weird, so we were forewarned about what to expect.

But what’s theatre without dinner first? A new restaurant has opened on a perennial site – formerly Ambeli, Slim Davey’s, Amok, now Rosella...and that’s just since we moved here! They claim to take influences from across the Mediterranean, North Africa, and Middle East. Sounds good!

Their menu is the smaller plates/sharing type that seems to have been all the rage for the last few years, but we decided on a more conventional starter & main course approach: oysters and chicken liver parfait, followed by butterfish and squid ink pasta. We had time and the inclination for dessert, and chose the grapefruit & Campari sorbet, and sumac-roasted strawberries. All delicious, and we’ll be back, hopefully for a longer service, as they have an option called “Just feed me!” where you hand control over to the chef, and accept what comes.

BATS Theatre is just round the corner, so we toddled off and went up to The Dome. This had been kitted out with minimal décor, a couple of chairs, a bed and a table, which were moved around by the cast, as required.

The plot of The Lobster revolves around David, who has been sent to The Hotel because his wife has left him for another man. In this dystopian future, being single or a “loner” is not permitted, and he has 45 days in which to form a relationship with another loner at the hotel, or face being turned into an animal of his choice. David’s preferred animal is a lobster. We meet a selection of the other loners, who are almost universally weirdos and misfits. There are strict rules at The Hotel, and many activities in which participation is obligatory.

The play follows the story of the first half of the film, so far as I remember it, but stops abruptly at that point. The second half of the film, where (spoiler alert) David escapes, is not covered…probably because of the logistics and scene changes that would be required to take it outside of The Hotel. Nevertheless, it was suitably weird, and blackly humorous, much like the original.

 

The Big Foody

For the past five years (yes!) I’ve been taking guided tours at Zealandia. At the end of last year, another opportunity was presented to me…taking guided tours around Wellington, to various foody establishments. The company, The Big Foody, is setting up in Wellington (they’re based in Auckland) and need guides for its tours. Sounds like my kind of deal, right?

In December, I accompanied the other Wellington guide, once on a training tour and once on what is known in the trade as a ”famil” -  a familiarisation tour for people who will recommend us – journalists, industry professionals, tourism companies etc. Then on Sunday, I took my first tour with actual members of the public, from the cruise ship Azamara Journey. There were supposed to be two ships in Wellington on that day, so the Big Cheese, Elle, had come down from Auckland to take the other…but it turns out that Grand Princess couldn’t dock in Wellington due to the high winds. Azamara Journey is a much smaller, boutique cruise liner, so didn’t suffer from the problems that affect the larger ships: their high-sidedness effectively turns the side of a ship into a giant sail, and they are unable to control docking in high winds.

We’d arranged to meet up 15 minutes before the tour began at the Old Government Buildings. When I arrived, they were already there! I welcomed them all, and explained that as it was Sunday, all the businesses around this end of town were closed, so we had a little bit of a walk to our first destination. Just to complicate matters, Sunday was also the day of the Wellington leg of the New Zealand Pro Classic cycle race. This is normally run in various legs around the Wairarapa, but this year they decided to do the final leg on an urban course on the Golden Mile in Wellington. Which is slap bang in the middle of the route we usually take through the city! We had to divert down Featherston Street. Normally we’d head to Pravda for cheese scones, but they’re shut on Sundays, so we went to our alternate venue, Pickle & Pie. Both are Wellington institutions, with Pravda being world-famous in New Zealand for its cheese scones. During Wellington On A Plate they run scone-making courses, and these are usually a sell-out. Pickle & Pie’s approach is slightly different, in that they cram as much cheese into the scone as possible, and then toast it and serve it with…you guessed…pickles! We also tasted some of their Pie Of The Day – brisket with cheese.

Next, we backtracked a little to Willis Lane, to try beer, charcuterie and cheeses at Churly’s . This is a venue owned by Behemoth, an Auckland craft brewery, but it’s inclusion on the Wellington tour is due to (a) having a strong connection to the owner, and (b) the unique charcuterie from A Lady Butcher. As the sun is over the yardarm by this stage, a couple of beers (tasting size only!) are included.

Out into the sunshine and Wellington wind again – we were certainly giving our group the full Wellington experience! – and across Jervois Quay to the waterfront, our next stop was Karaka café. Sited next to the wharewaka function centre, this café is owned and operated by the Retimanu whānau, of Māori & Pacifica descent. The food is reflective of this heritage, and they work with Māori and Pacifica providers as much as possible. The offering here is a hāngī-style potato and kumara cake, topped with a pork and watercress sausage, washed down with a Taha tonic, flavoured with kawakawa.

Our final stop on this tour is at Wellington Chocolate Factory. WCF is no ordinary chocolate maker – they go above and beyond to produce the finest chocolate possible. This includes going way further than the rubber-stamp Fair Trade that other ethically-produced chocolate manufacturers boast of – they actually visit the chocolate growers themselves, and increasingly source their beans from Pacific producers, notably in Vanuatu. They sort the beans and roast them all themselves, and then mix them into various types of chocolate – dark, milk, vegan (with coconut milk), and some flavoured bars as well. Naturally, it’s more expensive than Cadbury’s and even Whittaker's, but it is as good as chocolate can get. They have recently introduced chocolate “tea”, made with the husks of the cacao beans (which are usually discarded) – a light and refreshing alternative to hot chocolate, but with all the health benefits associated with theobromine.

Elle had to dash away early to catch her plane back to Auckland, so I escorted the group back to the pick-up point where we’d started the tour. It’s a bit of a hike around Wellington, so you get a chance to work up an appetite, and then walk off the calories afterwards. But no-one left hungry!

For the rest of the summer I'll be combining my Zealandia tours with Big Foody tours, which helps to break up my work and provide some variety.