Rueben’s Hot Sister

I haven’t been to Choice Bros in, like, ages. Why not? It’s centrally located on Ghuznee Street, brews their own beers, and is open during the week. Years ago, it was a regular stop for me for a burger and beer when I was taking tours. But then, something changed…they decided, without consulting me, to change to an all-chicken menu. Yes, the only burger available was a chicken burger. Now, I don’t mind the occasional chicken burger, but when I want a beef burger, that’s what I want…so I stopped going.

Earlier this week, whilst reading reviews of Burgers Wellington, I came across their offering, and observed that it was, in fact, made with…beef. Well, blow me down! A quick investigation revealed that they’ve abandoned their whites-only policy, and are now back in the business of offering proper burgers. Again, they did not consult me on this decision, so I don’t know how long they’ve been missing out on my custom.

 After my work on Saturday I decided to drop by and sample their effort.

Rueben’s (sic) Hot Sister is described on the Burger Wellington website like this: Smashed beef patty with hot honey–cured beef short rib, smoked provolone, spiced pickled cabbage, pickled onions and spicy Russian dressing in a Cottage Lane brioche bun, with housemade kettle chips and Kāpiti brie bacon cheese dip.

It looks like this: 

There is no DVB beer match as, again, I’m in a brew pub so I’ll have whatever they recommend – in this case, Choice Bros Perfect Day low carb lager.

There was a bit of a wait for the burger as it was a popular choice and the bar was, if not full, at least reasonably patronised for a Saturday lunchtime. When it came though, it was good. This is a proper burger made by people who make proper burgers. All the necessary ingredients were there, and there was none of that extraneous “salad” that some insist on including in the burger. The pickled cabbage and onions provided some necessary crunch and flavour, and the cheese was tasty. The housemade (apparently; they tasted like they were out of a packet) kettle chips had, hover, gone a bit soft. Nevertheless they fulfilled their function of scooping up the brie and bacon dip. I felt, however, that just sticking to chips might have been a better option in this case. I scored it 7/10, because although it’s a good burger, it’s not an exceptional burger. I’m really looking for that one that blows your socks off to score higher.

 

Bosh

OK, now for something a bit different. After bridge we went out to lunch at Café Polo, one of our local eateries which could soon become the best café in the area. Why do I say that? Well, the best café in the area always used to be The Larder, but a short while ago Jacob & Sarah sold up, and it is now under new management. So far, nothing has changed, but we’ll have to keep a weather eye on it.

Café Polo’s offering is called Bosh, and is something a bit different to your usual burger: It’s a pork and prawn patty. Say what? Yes, you read that right. It’s described on the Burger Wellington site like this: Harringtons pork and prawn nugget with sweet and sour sauce, pineapple, pickled capsicum and onion, coriander, spring onion salad and crispy chilli mayo in Cafe Polo’s housemade sesame seed milk bun, with salt and pepper chips. The DVB beer match is The Classic lager.

It looks like this: 

How did it taste? As you can see, there’s a lot going on here, so much so that it’s held together with a stick...this is a burger for tackling with a knife and fork. According to the chalkboard description, the patty is 80% pork. The sweet and sour, and the pineapple combine well together, and the whole thing just zinged off the tastebuds. Unlike some burgers that have had the kitchen sink thrown at them, this is one that’s well thought out, with sweetness, sourness, spice, crunch and flavour. The chips were crunchy and generously seasoned, too. This is the best burger I’ve had so far this year, and I’m scoring it a 8/10. It’s not quite a perfect burger - pickupability, flavour and patty composition all play a part; as has been mentioned, I’m a hard man to please!

The Coastal Rogue

Another local excursion for a burger at the weekend, and this time we picked perennial favourites Little Sprig, a branch of the Sprig & Fern chain of pubs. Their offering is called The Coastal Rogue, described on the Burger Wellington site thus: Grass-fed beef blend patty with liquid cheese, crispy onions, bacon-jalapeño jam and Sprig sauce in a housemade brioche bun, with shoestring fries.

It looks like this:

Yes, I borrowed this pic from the website, as I forgot to take my own pic. 

There is no DVB beer match, because Sprig & Fern are a brewery and don’t sell other people’s beers.

There’s not much different to this burger, except the liquid cheese – effectively a cheese sauce rather than a slab of cheese on top. The crispy onions were a nice touch, and the fries were different to their usual, which are normally handmade and can veer to the soggy side on occasion. But not this one! They were crispy and well-seasoned.

This is as good a burger as the Burger Liquor one, so I’m giving it a score of 7/10.

 

Smokey’s Girl

Burger Liquor are a pretty reliable place for a burger; it’s in the name! I went after work to try their offering, Smokey’s Girl. Their regular burger, which I eat, er, regularly, is called “The Smokey”, so this is a girlfriend for the old favourite. It’s described on the Burger Wellington website like this: Smashed Conscious Valley beef patty with smoked cheddar, jalapeño crisp, shredded lettuce, strawberry and onion jam, and bacon ranch in a sesame rolled Brezelmania milk bun. The DVB beer match is Mouth Party, which I eschewed in favour of Burger Liquor’s house lager by Abandoned Brewery.

It looks like this: 

How was it? Honestly, it’s not a million miles away from The Smokey. The only thing missing was the bacon, which was added with the bacon ranch dressing. I mean, it wasn’t bad, but their usual offering does take some beating, tbh. It is a tasty burger, but I can’t in all conscience score it higher than a 7/10.

 

Spiced To Meat You

We went along to the newly-opened Parla in Island Bay after bridge, to try their Burger Wellington entry. Parla is owned by the same people who do Mr. Go’s, Ombra and Kisa, at least two of which are regular faves. We’d been there before shortly after it opened and were reasonably impressed (especially as it’s next door to Empire Cinema, who’s café offerings leave a bit to be desired).

Parla serve Middle Eastern flavours, similar to Kisa, so their offering, Spiced To Meat You, sounded like a good choice. The WOAP website describes it like this: Urfa-spiced lamb patty, with nasturtium hummus, sumac onion, pickled radish, Grafters Honey toum and crispy fried chickpeas in a Dough Bakery cumin and sesame seed bun. The DVB beer match is Repeat Offender, an NZ Pilsner that’s part of their classic line-up.

It looks like this:

 We both ordered the burger, and I had the beer match. I don’t know when the burgers were cooked, as although they took the requisite time to arrive on our table, they were somewhat tepid rather than hot. I picked mine up and it held its integrity through to the end, always a good sign…although it did leak large amounts of dressing along the way. Urfa spice didn’t seem to be present, I thought there might be a hint of heat (spice, not temperature) associated with it, but this turned out not to be the case. The main flavour was garlic from the toum dressing, and a slight crunch from the fried chickpeas – a few more of which wouldn’t have gone amiss, given the absence of chips or other side with this burger. A burger that promised much, but failed to deliver on that promise. I scored it a humble 6/10.

 

Love Stack

 And they’re off! Yes, Wellington On A Plate is under way again, and with it, the Burger Wellington competition.

First cab off the rank was at our usual Tuesday night venue, The Old Bailey, where we were attending Quiz Night. Their offering is called Love Stack, and it is described thus on the WOAP website: Beetroot and beef patty, with haloumi cheese, crispy onion rings, cos lettuce, tomato, cucumber pickle, pesto and beetroot relish in a Brezelmania bun, with fries. The DVB* beer match is Thirst Crunch (Peach IPA), which I eschewed in favour of my usual Panhead Supercharger.

It looks like this:

OK, things to note: the bun is in fact pink, presumably from inclusion of beetroot in the bun (not mentioned). The beef burger itself seems to be their standard beef patty – I couldn’t detect any beetroot in the patty itself. Given the height of this burger I didn’t even attempt to eat this with my hands, I went straight in with the cutlery.

How was it? Well, they’ve thrown everything but the kitchen sink into this burger. The individual components were OK (apart from the rather pointless lettuce leaf and tomato), but there was no sense of cohesion about this burger. Yes, you can put lots of things into a burger; do they work together? In this instance, I’d have to say a resounding NO. I scored this a disappointing 4/10.

p.s. It seems I said much the same about their previous year's effort. The year before that wasn't much cop either. 

* Yes, after more than 10 years sponsoring the Burger Wellington competition, Garage Project have bowed out and handed the reins over to DVB, or Double Vision Brewing, a Miramar-based brewery. I’ll try some of their products with other burgers.

Sveatherston

Sven Olsen’s Brutal Canadian Love Saga are back, and this time they’re playing Featherston! Featherston is a small town in the Wairarapa, part of the Greater Wellington conurbation. We drove over the Remutaka hills to get there on a Saturday afternoon – dropping Nicola at the venue for rehearsal whilst I went onward to book into our accommodation at the Martinborough Hotel.

In the evening I drove back to Featherston – about 18km – so that we could have an early dinner at Brac & Bow, the main restaurant in Featherston. Whilst they were pretty prompt with service for cocktails and starters, the mains took a long time to come out so we were a bit rushed at the end as Nicola had to get back to set up in the Kiwi Hall. I wandered over a little later and staked my place in the second row.

The concert was free/koha, and the hall was full. Featherston isn’t just full of knitting and retired architects (possible future song title?), and the hall was buzzing. They played some of their classics, as well as using the “N” word – New Material – to celebrate life in Wellington and New Zealand, with such songs as Kron of Hastings (“he tagged the rest home, and the Countdown, and the town hall, and the flowerpots”), Brobdignagian Nightmare (about Nelson’s clock tower), Tasered At The Chicken Joint, Another Ratshit Night In Paradise, and many more.

After a post-gig night of debauchery driving back to Martinborough, we rose the next day for a leisurely exploration of vineyards. Starting at the Library, to get a list of which ones were open in off-season (quite a few!), we planned a route, then completely failed to stick to it. Instead we started off in Tiwaiwaka Vineyard, which hasn’t actually been open to the public on the occasions we’ve visited before, but now is (I believe it used to be by appointment only). It’s a small husband-and-wife operation, and we chatted to the owner, Mort, about his wines and wine in general as we ran through a tasting of seven different wines from the rosé, dry semillon, chardonnays, merlot and late harvest semillon.

We missed the next stop and went straight to Tirohana, where we tasted wines and stopped for lunch. The restaurant here offers either two course or three-course meals, but we weren’t in the mood for that, so we broke all the rules and ordered four starters to have tapas-style instead.

In the evening we dined in-house, but weren’t actually all that hungry, so didn’t take advantage of the culinary excellence on offer. The restaurant, Union Square, is run by the same people who used to run Zibbibo in Wellington (long since closed), so we missed out a bit there. Oh well, next time…

On Monday morning we went for breakfast at the Martinborough Village Café, largely as it seemed to be the only place open…Martinborough is not exactly a hive of industry and is mostly dependent on the wine trade, which comes alive at the weekends and summertime. We stopped on the way back at C’est Cheese but unfortunately they were out of the Mount Eliza Red Leicester that I wanted, and were waiting for a new delivery in the spring. We bought a couple of other cheeses then drove back across the Remutaka hills to Wellington.