Ngarua Caves

Our flight from Nelson didn’t leave until the afternoon, so we stopped on our drive back to tour the Ngarua Caves. We arrived a little after 10 and discovered that there would be a tour at 10:30, so we joined that, along with around 12 other people.

We donned hard hats and met our guide, Rachel, at the mouth of the cave. I enquired about cave wētā   but it appears they don’t have any. We were enjoined not to touch any of the stalactites or stalagmites as contamination from oils on your fingers will slow down growth…which is a leisurely 25mm every 80 years. Strange units, you might think? Well, it probably started out as one inch every 80 years.

We walked through with Rachel taking up the rear to ensure no-one got left behind, and stopped at the Stop signs where she gave us a bit of information about each place, including how they were discovered in the first place: apparently an apprentice surveyor dropped a tool whilst out doing some surveying, and it fell down a hole. “Well, go and get it” said his supervisor….and presto! Caves discovered! The caves are in a rock formation caused by the collision of two plates, and are about 450 million years old. These days, electricity, boardwalks and handrails have been installed to ease our passage and we are able to explore more. Some of them had columns where stalactites and stalagmites had fused. There was also a complete skeleton of a moa that had fallen through a pothole and died down there - several such skeletons have been discovered. We ended up in a large cave unsurprisingly called The Cathedral, which was the end of the system as far as we were concerned. We then ascended a set of Death Stairs to reach the outside and emerge, blinking, into the sunlight.

We drove on from there and stopped at McCashin’s Brewery for some lunch. Last time we were there I acquired some feijoa liqueur from the bottle shop and intended to do the same this time, only to find that Nelson Council had rescinded their licence and they were unable to sell me any. Poo.

That was about the end of our travels. We dropped the somewhat muddy car off at the rental place and waited for our flight to Wellington.

Farewell Spit

We rose with the lark. Actually, well before the lark. Farewell Spit Eco Tours take you along Farewell Spit at low tide, when the intertidal zone is available, in specially-adapted buses, so the time of departure is dependent on the tides and varies by half an hour each day. On the day that we had selected low tide was early in the morning, so we needed to set out from our accommodation by 6:15 to get to Collingwood and register in time for a 7:00am departure.

We actually made it in plenty of time as there’s not a great deal of traffic at that time on a Tuesday morn in Golden Bay. We met our driver and guide, Allan, who gave us a running commentary about the history of Golden Bay and the wildlife throughout the tour.

Our first stop was at Fossil Bay, famous for its fossils. These are mainly sea shells in sandstone – the sand is made of worm poo. We saw variable and SI pied oystercatchers along the way. We then drove up along the beach in the intertidal zone. This is the best area for driving, although it is prone to quicksand – waterlogged sand which can drag an unwary vehicle down. This was evidenced by the pools appearing in the tracks of the bus in front of us (we were in two buses) as we drove up the beach. Driving is forbidden above the high tide line, as this is where the sand dunes are forming. It’s also highly inadvisable – in fact the trickiest bit of driving is getting from the road through the soft sand to the firmer sand near the sea. Allan was at pains to point out that this is where we were most likely to get stuck in the sand and need a tow from the other bus, although as it happened we didn’t get stuck at all on our tour.

As well as driving for FSET, Allan works for Department of Conservation, so whilst we were driving along he was taking observations of the sea life as well as pointing it out to us. In particular, he was noting oystercatchers with chicks, as well as checking on the status of the rotting carcasses of some whales along the beach. We were driving along the outer beach, which is not where the whales beach themselves – that’s the inner beach – but some of them are dragged on to the north side. There were also the stinking remains of a sperm whale, which had died at sea and been washed up here. As well as oystercatchers we saw black-backed gulls, ruddy turnstones, Caspian and white-fronted terns, and pied shags.

Our destination was the lighthouse which is almost at the end of the spit. The end of the spit is too unstable to support a lighthouse, or indeed any kind of structure, so it’s actually some way back from the end, and there are some other houses there as well, originally built for the lighthouse keepers. Originally it required a crew of three, with their families, to keep the kerosene light burning, but this was reduced to two when they installed electric lamps (not bulbs, apparently), and then one; and finally it was completely automated in the 1970s and is now run from Maritime NZ in Wellington. The houses are still there, though, and used by DOC and Maritime NZ to house researchers and maintenance workers.

We stopped there for a while and learned the history of lighthouse keeping, accompanied by hot beverages and muffins. There are signs at the base of the lighthouse saying “No Entry”, but, as Allan told us, “I’m not your dad and I’m not your teacher”, so if you choose to disobey the sign, go ahead…and many did. He enjoined us not to post pics on social media as Maritime NZ would soon figure out where they came from and he’d get in trouble. It’s quite picturesque around there as the first lighthouse keeper, after failed efforts to grow anything in the sand, had transported soil from Collingwood – two sacks at a time – on his fortnightly trip to town for supplies. Eventually he had enough for a vegetable garden and orchard, and planted a few trees as well.

At this point we’d normally turn around and go back, but a little further on is the gannet colony – the second-largest in New Zealand. Unfortunately we couldn’t get close but we admired them from a distance. We then turned around and headed back the way we’d come.

We stopped near the sperm whale corpse and climbed a dune, from where we could see to the south side, the inner beach, in the distance. At high tide, twice a year during king tides, the spit narrows down to a mere 200m, but most of the time the spit is between four and 17 km wide.

Our final stop was at Cape Farewell, which is at the base of the spit and is the northernmost point of the South Island – well north of Wellington, in fact. There is a spectacular arch visible there, and we saw two fur seals.

We ate our packed lunch here, before heading back to Collingwood, with Allan continuing his running commentary including how high-end restaurants in LA and New York dine on New Zealand littleneck clams caught and processed locally and airfreighted to the US in refrigerated containers. It’s big business, apparently.

We arrived back in Collingwood after around 7 hours on and off the bus, and headed straight back to our motel to rest. In the evening we checked out local Thai diner O’Sha, recommended by the motel owner.

 

Tākaka

We left Nelson and picked up our hire car at the airport, then drove the long and winding road around the bottom of Golden Bay to reach Tākaka. Our original plan involved stopping at McCashin’s Brewery on the way, having discerned from the website that they were open from 10:00am daily. When we got there, however, the 10 had been taped over and 11 written on instead, so we continued on.

We’d been advised to go to Harwoods Hole, which is also on the way so we turned off the road. The first stop was at the Woolshed, a café with a petting zoo attached, for some beverages. They have an emu.

Harwoods Hole is a cave system with the deepest drop in New Zealand. There’s an unsealed narrow road to reach the car park, along which one must look out for, and avoid, oncoming drivers. Fortunately there are wide parts of the road along the way so we didn’t encounter any difficulties, as everyone was very polite. We reached the car park and set out on the 45-minute walk to the Hole. You can’t actually get to the hole without falling in and there are dire warnings at the beginning of the walk about this:

We walked through the beech forest on a clearly marked track, a bit muddy in places, looking out for wildlife on the way. We saw South Island robins, a tomtit, waxeyes, fantails and weka along the way. The way back was the same as the way there so we covered that somewhat quicker, then sat in the car eating cheese scones from the Woolshed under the beady eye of another weka – they’re notorious scroungers – but didn’t feed it.

We then headed back up the unsealed road and on to Tākaka to find our accommodation on the edge of town. Having deposited our stuff we walked into town to explore and find venues for dining over the next three nights. A short stop at Fresh Choice to stock up on breakfast goods and we were ready to go.

In the evening we went out to the local bar, Roots, for burgers and Captain Cooker beer.

I Don’t Like Cricket

We’re over in Nelson for a few days, one of the reasons for which is to go and see the Wellington Blaze and Firebirds play away from home. They’re playing Central Districts (Hinds and Stags), whose territory, as well as central North Island, includes the top of the South Island as well.

We arrived at Saxton Oval in good time, which was just as well as we originally went to the wrong entrance and were asked if we had hospitality passes. Which we didn’t, of course, so we were directed back to the Commoner’s entrance halfway around the ground from where we were. There is little public seating made of seats, instead you take your own seating and position it on the banks around the ground. There are few trees providing shade around the ground at the top of the banks so we found some space under one of these, and set ourselves up there. I then went to explore the ground. I located a water cart, but it wasn’t plugged into the water yet, but then found a permanent water fountain instead. The beer tent and food trucks were arranged near the entrance, but without the eclectic mix of cuisines that the Basin Reserve has, so it looked like fish & chips would be the order of the day.

At 1240, the Blaze and Hinds came on to the pitch. Blaze had won the toss and elected to bat first. First blood went to the Hinds when they took opener and all-round star Melie Kerr for 7, and after 20 overs, largely held together by Melie’s sister Jess with 59 runs, they’d amassed 114/8. Not a convincing performance, and as we’d observed a couple of days earlier, Saxton Oval is quite a small ground and high scores can be achieved.   

But this is the Wellington Blaze we’re talking about, and they have probably the best bowling attack in the women’s competition. They set about their business and Jess Kerr took two quick wickets in the second over. They kept applying pressure and the required run rate started to creep up over the ensuing overs. Another quick flurry of wickets in the middle left them at 37/5 at the halfway mark, and it was looking like a tough ask for the remaining batters. Wickets continued to fall regularly without much being added to the total and they were finally all out for 89 after 19 overs, giving the Blaze a 25 run victory…pretty much according to form.

There was a short break before the men came on. We repositioned our chairs as the tree shade had moved, but this became moot as the sky clouded over as the afternoon wore on. The Wellington Firebirds also won the toss and also elected to bat first. In they came and, true to form, lost an early wicket – Blundell, in the first over, without troubling the scorers. But after that early wobble they consolidated and put on 66/1 in the powerplay. After that wickets did start to fall, but they were amassing a good total and ended on a very defendable 190/5, with both Robinson and Abbas making half centuries.

The Stags started well but then lost two early wickets in the second over, and finished the powerplay at 52/3. As they continued, wickets fell at regular intervals but they kept on top of the run rate, and at the 16^th over they needed 67 runs off the last 5 overs. They promptly hit 15, 16, and 19 runs off the next three overs without loss, and suddenly they were well within reach with only 18 runs required off the last two overs. Eminently doable…until Van Beek struck twice in the penultimate over, and also strangled the scoring, leaving them needing 16 off the final over. They added just four runs, and lost their remaining wickets by the last ball, 11 runs short of the total. This gave a rare double win for the Wellington teams so we went home happy.

The Tempestuous

The Tempestuous is described as “A Shrew’d new comedy by Will Shakespeare and Penny Ashton”. Penny Ashton I’ve heard of, but who’s this other fella? It's currently showing at Circa Theatre.

Yes, Ms. Ashton is back! This time working in collaboration with William Shakespeare. Those of you with long memories may recall that she has worked with Jane Austen (Sense and Sensibility, Austen Found, Promise and Promiscuity), and also Charles Dickens (Olive Copperbottom), and also that we’ve been to see all of these shows, as well as listen to her present at Te Papa. We’re definitely fans of her work, and with her taking on Shakespeare, this is definitely a must-see.

In the ordinary course of events we’d wait until Nicola was allocated a night of ushering at Circa, and I’d go along that night. However, Ashton is a huge draw card and I couldn’t risk the possibility of the show being sold out on the night she was working, so we booked ourselves in to go and see it on a non-working night. It did of course subsequently transpire that Nicola will be ushering later on in the run so she’ll get to see the show twice.

Although we’d arrived early with the intention of dining at the in-house facilities, these were somewhat thwarted by the fact that the kitchen is currently closed as they complete the rebuild of the theatre. All they had was cabinet food, including some pies. We considered going out elsewhere, but (a) we hadn’t booked, and (b) it was raining, so we contented ourselves with said pie and a muffin.

Circa Two now has allocated seating – it used to be a mad scramble for the best places - and as I’d booked early we were centre in the second row. As the show’s blurb hints, it’s loosely based on The Taming Of The Shrew, in that it involves a woman who does not wish to be wed, and certainly not wed to Duke Olivano, the candidate picked for her by her uncle Enzo, now king of Sicily. There’s a lot of allusions to other Shakespearean plays, with witches abounding, murders and poisonings, cross-dressing, a fool and a competition. Penny Ashton sings and dances all the roles, putting on different voices, affectations and poses, even a false moustache, to indicate who she is playing each time. This includes the main character, Rosa, her mother, Queen Carlotta, her father and her uncle; three suitors; a fool, a baker, and a nurse; and the witches. At one stage she co-opts two audience members into her coven to mix a magic potion; and later, brings another on stage to be one of the suitors, unfortunately knocked out in the first round of the game-show competition devised to select her husband, called “The Chaste”.

Shakespearean language, filthy jokes and modern references also abound (there’s a lot of abounding going on) and the whole jolly jape lasts around 90 minutes in a non-stop whirligig of action, drama and fun, (nearly) all in rhyming iambic pentametric verse! Go and see it if you can!

 At the end of the show Penny was outside selling merch, notably the now-infamous fridge magnets (or “meat safe magnets” as they are designated in the programme), and tea towels.

Stephen Fry

Stephen Fry is a national treasure, and a very funny actor, presenter, writer and personality. But is he an actual comedian? He’s touring New Zealand at the moment with his one-man show, but it’s not exactly stand-up comedy. I guess you’d call him a raconteur. We thought we’d go and see his show. 

But first, as always, dinner. The show started at 8:00pm so we had plenty of time, and I’d booked us well in advance so that we could go along to Dragonfly, as we haven’t been there in a while. It’s a pan-Asian place with the usual shared plates ethos. I’d arrived a bit ahead of time as Nicola was finishing up her secretarying at Friends of Te Papa, so ordered a cocktail whilst waiting. We then went for seared sesame tuna, coconut squid, sticky pork belly and salmon two ways – all very delicious; and followed with chocolate & coffee mousse and panna cotta.

We made our way across to the St James Theatre, and took our seats. The show was advertised as lasting 2 hours, with an interval between 8:50 and 9:10pm. This was completely wrong.

In the first half, he came on stage, took his seat, and proceeded to tell us about his childhood growing up in a country house in Norfolk, miles (12 of them!) from the nearest city, and his time at prep school and then at public school. This included various anecdotes about family and fitting in at school (he didn’t), and his discovery and early love of Oscar Wilde; he then moved on to how he was expelled from school, and all subsequent schools he attended, and the crimes he committed along the way. The story is both horrifying and hilarious. Somehow he gained a scholarship to Cambridge University where he met first Emma Thompson, then Hugh Laurie. These meetings changed his life in a way he completely didn’t expect, and he then regaled us with stories about his life on the road and acting and performing as a comedian, and how he’d once been inveigled into reading for the audio book edition of some children’s story.

All this took us up to around 9:30pm. We then broke for an interval. He had enjoined us to scan the QR codes liberally festooned about the theatre, which lead one to a site on which you can pose questions, and it was to these that he responded in the second half of the show. This included stories about celebrity gossip, even royal gossip when (then) Prince Charles came to visit, and then took on a more serious and darker tone as he discussed mental health issues, both his own and those of other people. He discussed his previous visits to New Zealand and working with Peter Jackson on The Hobbit. He also gave us a reading from one of his books, Odyssey, a modern reworking of an old story. He also spent a bit of time talking about his interaction with Steve Jobs of Apple, and also his old friend Douglas Adams.

Another 80 minutes flew past, and it was well after 11 o’clock by the time we were released into the spring night. Definitely a worthwhile show.

 

Lemon Marmalade

When life gives you lemons…

I’ve made marmalade in the past, from oranges, grapefruit and even lemons. I turned to trusty Uncle Google for a recipe, and there seemed to be conflicting messages about lemon to sugar to water ratio, and also how to extract the pectin. So I’m going it alone. Let’s see how my recipe works:

1kg lemons

2kg sugar

2l water

I sliced and removed the pith and pips from the lemons, and put them in the water to soak overnight. To extract the pectin from the pith and pips I placed them in a small sieve in a small container of water. Most of the recipe books say “place the pith and pips in a small muslin bag” but who has those lying about the house? I mean, really? Hopefully this will work instead. And yes, the water is included in the 2l of water mentioned above. 

The next day, I added the pectin-rich water to the mix, and boiled the whole lot up for 1½ hours. At this stage it’s wise to put a saucer in the fridge for your set testing. I then added the sugar. At this point I put the jars into the oven to sterilise. Then I returned it to a fast boil for 30 minutes, stirring occasionally to stop it catching on the bottom of the pan; and started testing for a set by putting a small amount on the saucer, letting it cool, and seeing if it wrinkles when you push it with a spoon – the classic way to check that it will solidify when it’s cooled. After three goes, it set, so total cook time was 2¼ hours. 

I let the mix cool down a bit before putting it into jars, which is always a messy business…for some reason some of it always dribbles down the outside of the jar. It made six jars.