After God

Nicola was on ushering duty again at Circa Theatre, this time for After God. What’s that about? Sounds a bit God-y to me…

We had dinner at ChouChou again. They do seem to be improving after the initial hiccups and less-than-perfect experiences we’ve had with them. I had fish & chips, Nicola had the burger…both competent enough, but it’s still pub grub. Lowering expectations seems to be the way to go.

After God is described by the author as a “verbatim play”. This means that the dialogue is exactly as spoken by the characters, most of whom are real people (spoiler alert: God makes an appearance, and he’s not real). It’s mainly about the author’s (Stuart McKenzie – an “everyman” played by different actors for different parts of the play) conversations about god, God, religion, theology and related subjects. Some of his conversers are ordinary people, others are highbrow theologists, professors, and religious types.

The beauty of taking real dialogue as the premise for your play is that it allows you to shape it, give it a narrative, split the scenes up so it doesn’t follow necessarily how or when it was originally said, and to juxtapose it with others from different times and places. Now, call, me old-fashioned, but I’d’ve liked it if he actually did that. Instead, it’s a mishmash of incoherent ideas, some ramblings, cute aphorisms that fall apart on a moment’s thought, and general mumbo-jumbo. Much like religion, in other words. I don’t know if that’s the author’s intent, or not. The most significant moment towards the end comes when there is a death, but I can’t help but get the feeling that it’s thrown in for dramatic effect. It added nothing to the rest of the play, but he wants you to feel dramatised and traumatised.

So yeah, a bit of a mixed bag. I give it 2/5.

 

Public Service Announcements

Every three years, New Zealand has a General Election. And every three years, those cheeky chaps and chapesses at Circa Theatre produce a show called Public Service Announcements, where they satirise the current political parties and personalities. 

I’ve already told you about our dining experience at ChouChou, so straight in: there are six actors, and with costume changes they play the major characters of all the political parties (there are seven that are likely to feature in this year’s election), as well as impersonating commentators such as John Campbell, and Paul Henry – who has gone from commentator to participant in the election.

They signify who they’re playing with colour-coded jackets and lighting. Unfortunately, apart from the leaders of the main parties (and possibly not even those!), not everyone knows who’s who in the world of politics, especially if you haven’t been paying attention. To get around this they have to address each other like characters in a royal period drama: “Hail, third cousin Henry, heir to the earldom of Monmouthshire, how do thee fare?”, and suchlike. There is a plot of sorts, based around American warships blockading the Strait of Cook, and what each party is doing about it. The Americans are there because it’s a strait, and blockading straits is what they do. The characterisations are very basic, and the jokes aren’t all that funny. Being luvvies, of course, most of the mockery is aimed at the right of centre parties, although Chippie does come in for a pasting for not actually having any policies – he says he’ll release the Ultimate Policy “when the time is right”. Which isn’t now. There's a special guest appearance from The Top Girls, representing The TOP Party - as they seem to be special guesting in opinion polls at the moment.

Where it succeeds best is the song-and-dance routines – those tap lessons at Drama School weren’t wasted after all! There’s a rendition of "Things", “That’s A Māori”, a bit of Tears for Fears’ “Shout”, and other songs too modern for me to know the artistes. At one stage John Tamihere appears as a vampire, and his performance was so hammy that one of his co-actors corpsed on stage, and had real trouble delivering his lines with a straight face. He managed to pull it back together, despite the best efforts of Jamie McCaskill to distract him again.

It's a jolly romp, and has been extended for a week as it continues to sell out. Go see it while you can!

 

Onion Breath

Nicola was on ushering duty again at Circa Theatre, so we thought we’d go along and try their Burger Wellington offering before the show. When they first  opened I didn’t have a very high opinion of ChouChou, but they’ve improved somewhat in the intervening months, so I felt they should be able to do a good burger.

It’s called Onion Breath, and it’s described on the WOAP site like this: Beef patty, with sweet and spicy pickles, provolone, onion dip, and tobacco onion crisps in a Pōneke Bakery potato bun.

It looks like this: 

The DVB beer match is Chin-Wag, which I’ve tried before. It’s a fruity IPA flavoured with passionfruit and mango, and a good accompaniment to a rich burger.

How was it? It was served with a scattering of fries (not mentioned) which had been dusted with…something. The burger was their standard burger, and the melted provolone was present in abundance. The onions were…oniony. If you weren’t searching for it, you’d never have guessed the “tobacco” part, it was there as an extremely subtle background.

Pretty much an average burger with fried onions. I’m scoring this an average 5/10.

 

Julia

Back into the routine with Circa Theatre, and Nicola is volunteering as usher. This time it’s the acclaimed Julia, a one-woman tour de force written by Australian playwright Joanna Murray-Smith, whose works include Switzerland. The Julia in question is Julia Gillard, former prime minister of Australia. 

I hadn’t booked anywhere nice for dinner, so we were forced to go to Chou Chou. I’ve expressed my opinion on the restaurant attached to Circa before, but they have now revised their menu and offer some semblance of a reasonable choice…if only their wait staff would listen to the orders! Having been out for lunch after a French Film Festival offering, we weren’t that hungry, so Nicola ordered Caesar salad without chicken. Yes, you’ve guessed…they served it with chicken. They didn’t charge for it, though. Also, they were out of tiramisu, which you shouldn’t be early in the evening.

The play is 90 minutes long with no interval. Lara MacGregor has been a notable figure, both at Circa and elsewhere, including television (and not just Shortland Street!) and film. The plot follows the life of Julia Gillard, the pivotal moments in her childhood and adulthood that led to her becoming Australia’s 27^th, and first female, Prime Minister. It culminates with the speech given by Gillard in parliament in response to Tony Abbott’s attempts to use a political scandal about Twitter to bring down the then Labour government. The speech struck a nerve amongst Australians, and women around the world, and led to some small changes in how women were perceived and treated not just in politics but also in the wider world.

The play captures the challenges faced by Gillard and other women in politics, where the size of your arse or the cut of your jacket are treated as more important topics of debate than irrelevant things, like policy or philosophy. Hey ho. Go watch it and enjoy.

 

Ride The Cyclone

Nicola is once again on duty at Circa Theatre, this time for musical Ride The Cyclone. We have niece Tavi with us at the moment, so we decided to give Charley Noble a try to see if it lived up to the hype. Also, we wanted Tavi and Lauren (who works there) to meet, who are first cousins once removed, apparently. 

Nicola and Tavi both ordered pasta and vegetable sides, and I had a steak with fries. I also had half a dozen oysters beforehand, and with a drink included, the bill was a staggering amount. I think my main objection to CN isn’t so much the food, (they managed to cook a steak adequately), it’s the prices…they charge more for oysters than Logan Brown!

It was a little further than we normally venture for a pre-theatre meal so Nicola was a bit rushed (it took them ¾ hour to bring the mains!), and even Tavi and I had to be pretty sharp to get to Circa with 10 minutes to spare.

The Musical, part of a trilogy set in Uranium City, Saskatchewan (a real place) in an unspecified time period, although there are some modern references such as reality TV which make it seem present-adjacent. It was first produced in 2009, by which time this genre was already prevalent. Six teenagers, all members of the St Cassian High School Chamber Choir, die in an accident on a rollercoaster (The Cyclone), and appear in an afterlife where they are confronted by a Speak Your Fortune machine by the name of Karnak. He offers one of them a chance to return to life. The only catch? The vote must be unanimous between the rest of them.

Each member of the choir gets a chance to stake their claim, in song, to be the one to be saved. Their life stories are related as each one plays the central role in their own story, and the remaining cast play the rest of the parts. Turns out they all have a bit of a history.

After they’ve all given their performances, a decision has to be made…no spoilers (the show’s 16 years old, you can look it up), and one of them returns to life. The remaining five characters wrap up the show with a rousing finale.

Monument

Circa Theatre continues to run with thought-provoking content. Monument follows similar themes to other recent productions at Circa such as Burn Her and Prima Facie concerning women in power and the pressures and contradictions that they face. Nicola was, as ever, on ushering duty. 

We decided to dine in-house at ChouChou, the newly-revamped restaurant at Circa. We both had the burgers – the Camembert and the Royale. Mine was, frankly, disappointing. I’m running out of things to choose from their menu so we might be ditching them as an option soon.

The play was in Circa 2, the smaller theatre, with a 100 minute runtime and no interval. The show kicks off in a hotel room, and that’s where all the action takes place. In this case, newly-elected youngest ever woman premiere Edith Aldridge is facing her first live appearance after gaining power. All of her usual support crew are stranded at a fogged-in Auckland airport (the play has been transplanted from its native Australian setting), and a last-minute make-up artist has been drafted in from a local department store. At first Edith is distrustful of Rosie and doubts her abilities, but over the course of the play opens up more, listens to advice from a member of the younger generation, and they change their decisions about dress and make-up accordingly. Rosie’s discourse on how much make-up you need for the “no make-up look” is illuminating in the TikTok and Insta era. Their relationships with the men in their lives, alive and dead, come into play, and these also end up on the chopping block.

There’s a serious message in the sometimes hilarious exchanges, and the positions they find themselves in: about perceptions, media and politics. Go see it if you get a chance.

 

Comedy Festival

As autumn swings into winter, it’s time to look indoors for our entertainment options. To satisfy this need, the New Zealand International Comedy Festival is in its 33^rd year. International, as it includes many overseas performers, gracing us with their presence, as well as nationally-known and up-and-coming New Zealanders…and even internationally-known New Zealanders!

First cab off the rank, at least as far as we were concerned, was Nish Kumar. Unfortunately, New Zealand’s weather decided otherwise, and a storm that hit New Zealand caused the closure of the venue on the night we’d booked. The show was rescheduled to the following night, but at 10:30pm we figured it was way past our bedtime, so we took the refund instead. Bugger. I was looking forward to that one.

No matter, the following week we were booked to see Hayley Sproull, or Hayley Everything as she should be known, as she seems to be doing everything these days. We first saw her when Miss Fletcher Sang The Blues in - crikey! - 2012! But since then she’s gone from strength to strength, with many hit stand-up shows, and starring in New Zealand comedies; participating in and hosting panel shows (7 Days, Have You Been Paying Attention?), and hosting the annual Comedy Gala for the last two years. She also has a radio show. She’s a busy woman! Her show, Baroness, was the by-now-familiar mix of over-sharing and stories of the DINK lifestyle, culminating in a date with Jason Momua.

The following night we were at Circa Theatre. Whilst not technically part of the Comedy Festival, they’re currently performing the comedic Give Way: The Musical. Nicola was on ushering duties, so we went along. This also gave us the opportunity to try out ChouChou, the new brasserie attached to the theatre, which has recently had a makeover. I had the snapper salad Nicoise, and Nicola had chicken Cordon Bleu. Note to any aspiring chefs out there: snapper is not a good substitute for tuna in a Nicoise.

The musical follows the adventures of Sophie, a newly-minted graduate in Traffic Management Engineering. She is anxious to make her mark on the world, and when the opportunity to revamp New Zealand’s weird give way rules presents itself, she leaps at it. The musical is based on a true story, in that the give way rules were changed in 2012 to fit in with what the rest of the world does. There’s a love story, inevitably; as well as protests, conniving, popularity-seeking, mental health, and insights into public policy-making which seem far-fetched but are probably true. A cast of five Circa stalwarts play all the parts, of which there were many: each actor had a main character, but also had to fill in for Sophie’s parents, The Minister of Transport, and other roles as required. All jolly good fun, and with the high production values we’ve come to expect from Circa.

We had a night off, then plunged back into the fray on Saturday night, going to see The Tape Face Show. We first saw Sam Wills when he was but a boy, called The Boy With Tape On His Face. He has since shortened his name and reached an international audience after reaching the finals on America’s Got Talent. His show is performed entirely without words, as you might expect, but there’s a lot of music (it helps to be familiar with what the songs are and the films associated with them), and a lot of audience participation. We were safe from this aspect as he generally needed people to be on or near the end of their row to be able to get up on stage, and we were well-placed in the centre of ours. He also played some of the classics, including Endless Love. We did, however, participate in the finale of the show, which involved 99 Red Balloons. Go see him if you get the chance, he’s hilarious!

Our final foray was something a little different – a comedy cabaret show called Revel at the Hannah Playhouse. They’d rearranged things inside from the usual tiered seating to provide an enlarged performance area centred on the bar, and some seating on the level with more tiered seating at the back. Revel is the name of the bar, or Speakeasy, and we were encouraged to arrive early to take advantage of the bar and have a cocktail. A jazz band was playing as we entered.

The bar was cleared for the performance, which included singing, dancing, comedy, burlesque, acrobatics and circus trickery; performed by a troupe of six. There was an interval when the bar was briefly open for business again, and then cleared away very quickly to allow the performance to continue. It was all jolly good fun and certainly a bit different from your standard comedy routines.

That’s about it for this year’s fest – but there’s plenty more entertainment to come over the winter in the nation’s cultural capital!

An Evening Without Kate Bush

An Evening without Kate Bush? That’s, er, every evening, isn’t it? Well, yes…but this is the name of the show that we went to see at Hannah Playhouse on Saturday night. And, as, you might have guessed, it is about Kate Bush. She’s just not there in person.

First up, we went for dinner at Capitol. Haven’t been there in a while, but it is reliably, er, reliable, and they were able to provide me with a Negroni, no problem, as well as half a dozen oysters and a fillet steak. Nicola hade their trademark bruschetta to start, followed by the prawn linguine. This is how you do restaurant food! (A High Dining, take note). We were too stuffed for puddings, so we made our way across the road to Hannah Playhouse. There are no allocated seats here and as we were amongst the last in, we sat high up at the back. This, incidentally, saved us from being dragged on stage.

The show is a one-woman performance by Sarah-Louise Young, described as “the chaotic cabaret cult”. She performs all the songs, sometimes engaging the audience to provide vocal effects, and on two occasions gets members of the audience up on stage to assist her performance. She dances, does costume changes, reminisces, and talks generally about Kate Bush. Who, I have to remind you, isn’t there! You know more Kate Bush songs than you realise, as she runs through a number of the hits, everything from Babooshka (in Russian, and pronounced correctly to boot) to The Hounds of Love, where she had the audience howling accompaniment. She dissected Kate’s dance moves, with a  simple demonstration of each – everything from mime to “follow the arm”. She finished up, naturally, with Wuthering Heights, and we all joined in.

The show is currently touring New Zealand, then heads to Australia and the UK later this year. If you get the chance, go see this show!

 

Blithe Spirit

Noel Coward was a charmer

As a writer he was Brahma

Velvet jackets and pyjamas

“The Gay Divorce” and other dramas

Yes, Noel Coward comes to Circa! This time in the form of Blithe Spirit. Normally, we’d go when Nicola was on ushering duty, but for reasons she wasn’t able to take her allocated shift, so we had to *gasp!* buy two tickets to the show.

As always, dinner first. Circa Theatre have opened their new restaurant Chouchou, but so far it’s only serving…breakfast. Lunch and dinner are “coming soon”. Instead, we decided to give Wellington’s newest venture, A High Dining, a go. This is sited in the former Apaché space – Apaché have now moved to Tory Street.

A High Dining promises much, but unfortunately just misses the mark. We started with cocktails: Nicola had an Elderflower Rose French, and I asked for a Negroni. I say “asked for” because two minutes later, the waiter returned and, regrettably, they cannot make a Negroni. “No matter” I replied, “I’ll have a Martini instead”. Guess what? This time it was the barman who came to explain, regrettably, they had no vermouth. I had a gin & tonic. The barman, I hope, will be off shopping for these bar basics tomorrow.

We started with venison carpaccio and salmon tataki, both of which were good. For mains, we had the tagorashi fish and prawn dumpling and duck leg. The fish turned out to be a fish fillet with a prawn dumpling accompanying it, which wasn’t quite what was expected…a slightly better wording on the menu would avoid any ambiguity here. The duck leg was a bit on the tough side. Cooking medium-rare is fine for duck breast, but not so successful on leg meat. There was an overabundance of different vegetables served with it – beetroot, green (sic), chewy (sic) red cabbage, Moroccan brassica, cherries, buckwheat. Less is more, folks! I didn’t think it quite worked. We stuck around for puddings as well, having the chocolate caramel delice and the apple and almond pudding. Both good. It’s the mains that need a bit of work, I reckon. I was a bit disappointed, especially as they’re charging Logan Brown prices for distinctly sub-Logan Brown food.

We were in plenty of time to take our seats in the theatre, up high in the penultimate row as I’d only booked the tickets a couple of days before, and this is a popular show. A lot of the audience looked like they might have seen the original West End production, but I guess that’s just the demographic that keeps Circa Theatre going.

Circa stalwart Simon Leary led as Rudi, and Ginette McDonald as Madame Arcati, the medium. I’m sure we’ve also seen a lot of the other cast in various productions over the years. The story (spoilers!) involves Charles, an author, inviting a medium round for dinner as a laugh, and ostensibly to gather information for a forthcoming novel; only to be horrified when the ghost of Elvira (Laura Hill), his dead first wife, contacts Charles…and only Charles. The others can’t hear, or later, see, the ghost, but Charles can. They can, however, see her manifestations, when she moves items around, but they think it’s just Charles trying to fool them. In keeping with modern times, Charles is now living with Rudi rather than the original second wife, Ruth.

It’s all jolly good fun and you should go and see it if you can.

Fringe Frolics

It’s New Zealand Fringe Festival time again, and for the third year I’ve volunteered to help out. Nicola is no longer volunteering as she is now an active participant, with her band.

This year, I have been rostered exclusively at Hannah Playhouse, one of the larger venues for the Fringe, and therefore inclined to have events that will attract a bigger audience; so not so much the weird, quirky shows that are the essence of the festival. Next year I’ll ask if I can get a mix of venues so that I can see some of the odder offerings.

The first show I saw was Nicola’s band, Sven Olsen’s Brutal Canadian Love Saga, or The Svens as they are more commonly called. They were again playing at Newtown Community Centre. I say “Nicola’s band” but she is a viola player in the string section, so perhaps she’s not the actual leader of the pack. They played their usual selection of songs about life in Wellington and New Zealand, with backdrops that are an integral part of the show. 

My first gig at Hannah Playhouse was Antonio!, billed as “a queer punk pirate musical starring Shakespeare’s ultimate love interest”, a reference to the fact that Shakespeare has a character of this name in four plays. This is a romp through those works, with the conceit that they are in fact the same person, and Shakespeare was in love with him.

The following week was a sell-out performance of The Spinoff: The Fold Live, New Zealand’s biggest (only?) media podcast, broadcast live from the theatre with two guests, also from NZ media. How interested am I in the behind-the-scenes goings-on in New Zealand’s media world? Not very. I was allocated the mezzanine and balcony section for this show, which is normally closed as not needed, but apparently enough people are interested in this subject to use it. The crowd for this show was noticeably more mature than is usual for Fringe gigs.

Nicola came along to my third gig, Tecuani, as she had a previous engagement at Te Papa. This show was a Mexican dance show revolving around colonialism, human sacrifice, gods, ghosts, and other shit like that. 

The following night we went to see a show that we’d actually bought tickets for – The Fabulous Fabelinskys, at Te Auaha. This is a combination of circus and play, with the story centred on a family of three women who’ve just lost the patriarch and main performer of their circus act. It follows their trials, particularly at the hands of the nefarious circus-owner who exploits them; interspersed with demonstrations of their acts – hoops and harness, high ropes, and a clown, with a sword-swallowing finale. Does what it says on the tin, and probably the best thing that I’ve seen this festival. 

My final show was Hausdown, which is a Bridgerton-esque house party at a country estate. There are various shenanigans between the guest before they finally all come out and admit that the boys are in love with the boys, and the girls are in love with the girls. Enthusiastically performed, the actors camp it up in period costumes and generally have fun.

 

Hope

Nicola is back on ushing duty at Circa Theatre, and first out of the blocks as a main attraction this year is Hope, a new play by New Zealand novelist Jenny Pattrick. It’s set in a fictional near future where the government (of New Zealand? It’s not specified, but dollars are mentioned as a currency in one line) has passed new legislation relating to end-of-life care. 

The play is a fourhander, and opens with a potential suicide about to jump off a bridge. He is approached by Daniel, who recognises him as concert pianist Adam, and persuades him not to jump. Adam has focal dystonia, a condition which prevents him playing the piano, and he sees no point in living if he can’t do that. Daniel doesn’t just recognise him from his fame, it turns out he knew him years ago; his mother, Irina, a refugee from Ukraine, taught him to play piano when Daniel was very young. (Yes, everyone in New Zealand does know each other!) He takes Adam to meet Irina, who has terminal cancer and has been “classified” under the new legislation, and is entitled to palliative care only. Daniel takes care of his mother, but both are in denial about the terminal nature of her disease and insist that she is “improving”.

In a separate strand, Irina’s daughter, Yulia, has just returned from war-torn Ukraine, where she worked as a nurse and witnessed the horrors of battlefield injuries. Her mother has sold the old family house and moved into a little flat to raise money to pay for black market medicines – without telling Yulia, as they split on bad terms when she left for Ukraine. Nevertheless, she has tracked Irina down and is appalled by (a) her mother’s condition, (b) her living conditions, (c) her continued support for Putin, and (d) her denial of her health.

At first, these strands are separate, but eventually all four protagonists meet and a monumental bust-up occurs – particularly when Yulia finds out about the black-market drugs that Daniel is buying; drugs that could save the lives of cancer patients whose illness isn’t as advanced. Yulia contends that giving them to her mother is wasteful as they will have no effect because she is too far gone.

The play confronts the realities of the cost of end-of-life care – the reason the legislation was brought in was to save money; but also whether it is right to give people false hope, or should they abandon hope? Eventually there is a reconciliation of sorts, but like real life, everything is messy without neat endings. Adam is given new hope over the possibility of retraining his brain to become a concert pianist again – as happened in real life to Michael Houstoun, whose music is used throughout. The family members are reconciled to each other’s differences, and Daniel continues to care for his mother who has now accepted the truth.

It's not what you’d call a barrel of laughs, but it’s the kind of thing that theatre does well, and is well-performed throughout by some of the stalwarts of Circa Theatre.

 

The Tempestuous

The Tempestuous is described as “A Shrew’d new comedy by Will Shakespeare and Penny Ashton”. Penny Ashton I’ve heard of, but who’s this other fella? It's currently showing at Circa Theatre.

Yes, Ms. Ashton is back! This time working in collaboration with William Shakespeare. Those of you with long memories may recall that she has worked with Jane Austen (Sense and Sensibility, Austen Found, Promise and Promiscuity), and also Charles Dickens (Olive Copperbottom), and also that we’ve been to see all of these shows, as well as listen to her present at Te Papa. We’re definitely fans of her work, and with her taking on Shakespeare, this is definitely a must-see.

In the ordinary course of events we’d wait until Nicola was allocated a night of ushering at Circa, and I’d go along that night. However, Ashton is a huge draw card and I couldn’t risk the possibility of the show being sold out on the night she was working, so we booked ourselves in to go and see it on a non-working night. It did of course subsequently transpire that Nicola will be ushering later on in the run so she’ll get to see the show twice.

Although we’d arrived early with the intention of dining at the in-house facilities, these were somewhat thwarted by the fact that the kitchen is currently closed as they complete the rebuild of the theatre. All they had was cabinet food, including some pies. We considered going out elsewhere, but (a) we hadn’t booked, and (b) it was raining, so we contented ourselves with said pie and a muffin.

Circa Two now has allocated seating – it used to be a mad scramble for the best places - and as I’d booked early we were centre in the second row. As the show’s blurb hints, it’s loosely based on The Taming Of The Shrew, in that it involves a woman who does not wish to be wed, and certainly not wed to Duke Olivano, the candidate picked for her by her uncle Enzo, now king of Sicily. There’s a lot of allusions to other Shakespearean plays, with witches abounding, murders and poisonings, cross-dressing, a fool and a competition. Penny Ashton sings and dances all the roles, putting on different voices, affectations and poses, even a false moustache, to indicate who she is playing each time. This includes the main character, Rosa, her mother, Queen Carlotta, her father and her uncle; three suitors; a fool, a baker, and a nurse; and the witches. At one stage she co-opts two audience members into her coven to mix a magic potion; and later, brings another on stage to be one of the suitors, unfortunately knocked out in the first round of the game-show competition devised to select her husband, called “The Chaste”.

Shakespearean language, filthy jokes and modern references also abound (there’s a lot of abounding going on) and the whole jolly jape lasts around 90 minutes in a non-stop whirligig of action, drama and fun, (nearly) all in rhyming iambic pentametric verse! Go and see it if you can!

 At the end of the show Penny was outside selling merch, notably the now-infamous fridge magnets (or “meat safe magnets” as they are designated in the programme), and tea towels.

Strahan

Strahan (“Strawn”) is a small village, population 634, and we’re staying here two nights. Why? There are four things to do in Strahan, one of which is closed at the moment. We’re doing two of the other three. Here they are:

1.       Gordon River cruise. We’re not doing this.

2.       Hogarth Falls. Currently closed.

3.       Western Wilderness Railway. We did this in the morning.

4.       The Ship That Never Was – Australia’s longest-running play. We did this in the evening.

The Western Wilderness Railway is a railway that was built to transport copper ore from where it was found, on Mount Lyell, down to the coast at Strahan, there to be taken to wherever they did things with copper ore. We boarded the train at 10:00am at Regatta Point, and were welcomed by our coach host, Isobel, who promptly provided us with a glass of Tasmanian sparkling wine and a plate of canapes. As we set off, we were treated to a running commentary on the history of the railway. Back in the 1890s, gold was discovered in the mountains behind Strahan, and some people came to mine it. They didn’t find much, but enough to keep on reinvesting their profits in the hope of striking it big. They never did. However, an enterprising chap called Bowes Kelly sent some of the samples for analysis, and found that, whilst there wasn’t much gold in them, there was plenty of copper. He kept quiet about this and made a low-ball offer to the gold miners for their claim. This was accepted, and his company, Broken Hill Proprietary, started to mine the copper.

One thing he needed was a reliable way to get the copper from the mountains down to the coast, and this is how the railway was built – hewn through the forest and rock, excavated by hand with picks and shovels by a team of some 500 men, paid 6 shillings a day. 18 months later there was a railway from Queenstown to Strahan, and production could begin in earnest. The company, now known as BHP Group, formerly BHP Billiton, is the largest mining company in the world. As Paul Kelly once sang in an entirely different context, “from little things, big things grow”.

As we ascended the train line, following the King river, we were treated to more history, and also a pumpkin scone. It took about an hour to reach our destination, the station at Lower Landing. There we had a honey tasting, which had been explained on the train – leatherwood honey is the local specialty - then we had a guided walk through the forest, with our guide telling us about the pollution of the river due to the tailings from the mine, which were full of heavy metals, totally killing anything in and around the river banks; and the gradual recovery since the mine closed in 1994, with emphasis on the plant life surrounding the river, which is slowly regenerating.

We reboarded for the journey back to Regatta Point, this time at the back of the train (we’d been right at the front, behind the engine, on the way up). This afforded us unobstructed views out of the back of the train as we retraced our way back to Strahan. 

It was quicker getting back, because downhill. We finished up with a sweet treat of leatherwood honey nougat and a chocolate made with local gin and pepperberry. We finished up back at the station, at lunchtime. We didn’t actually want any lunch, so we headed back to the hotel to change into more summery attire, as it was warming up quite nicely by this stage. We then headed out to check that the track to Hogarth Falls really was closed, as Uncle Google alleged (it was), then went to explore the CBD of Strahan, and have a beverage and a slice.

In the evening we headed down to the Richard Davey amphitheatre to see Australia’s longest-running play, The Ship That Never Was. Based on a true story, this is the dramatization of the last ship built at the convict settlement on Sarah Island, and how !!Spoiler alert!! It was taken over by the convicts, who sailed away to Chile. After the escape some of the convicts were recaptured and sent back to Van Diemen’s Land, to be tried for piracy. The Ship That Never Was is the story of their defence. There are only three actors, so they co-opt members of the audience into the production; I was cast as Captain Taw, the drunken Captain who was bludgeoned during the take-over. It’s all played for laughs, panto style, but the underlying story is serious.

As the play ended we could hear rain starting to rattle on the canvas cover over the seating, so we hot-footed it up to Risby Cove for dinner, arriving somewhat damp. There we had oysters (again) and scallops, gnocchi and steak. I’d asked what the market fish was, expecting some Tasmanian delicacy. “Salmon” came the answer. I mean, salmon schmalmon. For all I know they haven’t served salmon all year, and thought it would make a nice change. Anyway, I had what turned out to be a rather indifferent sirloin. Ah well.

We move on tomorrow to another historic location.

 

And The Lochburns

Nicola was on ushering duty at Circa Theatre again last night, so I bought a ticket to go and see the show as well. It was an early start at 6:30pm, as it’s a two hour show, and Wellingtonians of our vintage (who frankly make up most of the audience) like to be tucked up in bed by 9 o’clock.

Dinner first, naturally. Mr Go’s and their sister restaurants Kisa and Ombra have been running a promotion throughout the winter whereby if you dine at one and spend over a certain amount, you get a $25 voucher for your next visit. We had one of these that needed to be used up, so along we went to Mr. Go’s. To be honest, we’d probably have gone there anyway.

They’ve changed their regional menu to Shanghai (it was Hong Kong last time we went) but the Typhoon Prawns have now made it onto the main menu so we had some of those, along with Korean wings, dumplings and a Shanghainese mushroom and bok choi dish. All very tasty as ever.

And The Lochburns is a play by William Duignan, Wellingtonian and all-round theatre guy. The cast includes Circa stalwarts such as Simon Leary, Peter Hambleton, Hannah Kelly, and Jthan Morgan. It’s set in the home of Gus, or Sir Angus Lochburn, celebrated musician, and now losing his mind to Alzheimer’s. His son Jason has been taking care of him with his partner, but the time has now come for Gus to be moved to residential care, and Jason’s two sisters arrive to help clear the house. And that’s where the trouble starts, as old rivalries, perceived slights and behaviours resurface between the three siblings and Jason’s partner, Sam.

Interspersed between the present-day sniping, the story of their parents also gradually unfolds – often being played out at the same time as the children are arguing, and music plays a strong part of the proceedings. At one point there’s a full-on song and dance routine of Tom Dick or Harry, and we learn about the older Lochburns’ musical career and partnership. Margaret, Gus’ wife, has died several years earlier, but appears sometimes as a ghost to the demented Gus, and in flashbacks as herself whilst alive. Go and see this whilst you can.

 

Lizzie The Musical

Lizzie Borden took an axe

and gave her mother forty whacks.

When she saw what she had done,

she gave her father forty-one.

The infamous case of Lizzie Borden, who was tried and acquitted of the murder of her father and stepmother in 1893, is one that continues to intrigue. Whilst she was acquitted, no other killer was tried for the murders, and she was shunned for the rest of her life in the Massachusetts town of Fall River. An obvious topic for a musical!

 Nicola was on ushering duty at Circa Theatre, and with a 6:30 showtime we needed to get an early dinner. Once again, Mr. Go’s is the go-to place (do you see what I did there?) and they are also participating in Burger Wellington, so I had their Fromage & Fortune burger.

The show started slightly late as they had a technical hitch with the lighting, so 10 minutes after the advertised start we were ready to go. Lizzie is a rock opera musical, with four characters who are the (surviving) female characters in or adjacent to the Borden household. They’re supported by a five-piece band – drums, guitar, bass, keyboard and obligatory cello. They start by reciting the verse above, then each of the characters introduces herself. The show progresses – mostly musically, but with some spoken parts – as they describe the living conditions in the Borden household, with their father and stepmother. Andrew Borden was a noted miser, and, after remarrying following the death of his first wife, tensions arose in the family. Lizzie and her older sister still lived in the family home, and there are indications of abuse, possible incest, in one of the songs. The first half leads up to the bloody axe murder of Andrew and Mrs. Borden.

The second half focuses on the reactions of all the characters to the murders. It seems clear that Lizzie did do the murdering, but that the evidence is not necessarily pointing at her, particularly after the dress she was wearing is burnt. There’s a memorable song which must have been a delight to perform, called “What The Fuck Now, Lizzie?” sung by her sister. The trial follows, and possibly the only mis-step of the entire production: the band leader, keyboardist Hayden Taylor, has one line, and he fluffed it! He’s supposed to call out “Not Guilty!” as the verdict at the end of the trial, but came in too early, not waiting for the band’s music to completely fade. So what we heard was “<muffled> Guilty!” Bugger.

Anyway, true to life, Lizzie Borden was acquitted of the murders, and the whole thing finishes with a flourish. They did an encore number of the forty whacks routine whilst taking their bows, to riotous applause.

 

 

The Hound Of The Baskervilles

It’s all gone a bit Sherlockian recently! Wellington Repertory Theatre are performing The Hound Of The Baskervilles at the Gryphon Theatre, so we went along. It was a Sunday matinee performance at 3:00pm, so we went for a late lunch at Concord.

I thought I’d booked us a table, but it turns out my fat fingers had hit the calendar a week from now, so there was no booking. This wasn’t a problem, as they had space at 1:30pm, but it did mean that they hadn’t got my message about reserving one of their Burger Wellington burgers for me! And guess what? Yup, they’d sold out. Bugger. I had a Caesar salad instead.

Gryphon Theatre is on Ghuznee Street, and Uncle Google reckoned that was a 14 minute walk away. I’m not sure what route Uncle Google was taking, because we covered it in a more realistic seven minutes.

The theatre was sold out, as the usher told us, so we were enjoined not to leave gaps of a seat between the groups, as they needed all the seats. The stage set was minimal, almost bare, with only a few chairs brought on as required from time to time. The script followed the original pretty faithfully, and keeping Dr. Watson as the main character rather than Holmes himself – indeed, for a substantial section in the middle of the play, Holmes is purportedly in London, not Devonshire. It is Watson who befriends Sir Henry Baskerville, and interrogates the other characters, sending his thoughts to Holmes in London by letter. Holmes does eventually turn up, and the pair of them instigate a plan to uncover the real reason why the hound is instilling such fear into the locale.

Yes, well, we all know how it ends, and they wrap up the plot in a no-nonsense fashion and return to London. We also wrapped up the plot and returned to Miramar.

Guru Of Chai

Indian Ink are back in town with a new production at the Hannah Playhouse, Guru Of Chai. As it’s only on for a short run (1^st – 11^th August) I’d booked tickets for the Sunday matinee when they were first released, for fear of missing out. This was months ago.

At a much later date, Hutt Valley Orchestra decided that their next concert would be on the same day, at the same time. Nicola therefore missed out, as she is the mainstay of their viola section. I went instead with Elizabeth, and caught the bus into town as Nicola had the car. We arrived in plenty of time and took our seats in the theatre. The Hannah Playhouse, formerly home to Downstage Theatre Company, is now a tragically underused resource after Downstage went bust in 2013. It’s now owned by Wellington City Council, but they don’t do much with it.

Guru Of Chai is an older work from Jacob Rajan and Justin Lewis, the creative team behind Indian Ink, who have been responsible for such shows as Dirty Work, Paradise, or The Impermanence of Ice Cream, Mrs Krishnan’s Party, and The Pickle King, and all of which I’ve seen over the years. In this revival, Jacob plays all the characters, to the musical accompaniment provided by Adam Ogle on guitar and special effects.

The main character, Kuitsar, has a chai stand in the main railway station of Bangalore. There he meets seven sisters, abandoned by their father, who sing at his stand and earn more money than he does selling chai. They are menaced by Thumby (he has no thumbs), a henchman of the local crime lord, The Fakir, but are rescued by Officer Punchkin, a policeman who oversees the station. Punchkin then assumes a protective role as the sisters get older, and all but one get married. The youngest, Balna, stays at the station, and eventually Punchkin asks her to marry him. Balna refuses, and Punchkin is promoted away from the station. Eventually Balna meets a poet, Imran, and they get married and have a son, Little Imran. The story is spread over several years, but always narrated with humour by Chai-Wallah Kuitsar. There’s also a parrot, and Jacob wears his customary prosthetic teeth throughout, to get into character. It is, as always, hilariously funny until you get to the ending, when it all takes a very dark twist and becomes quite serious. Indian Ink don’t always do happy endings.

Another stunning show from Indian Ink, if you get the chance go and see it! Given their now international standing, It will almost certainly get to Australia, and may make it to the UK as well.

 

Two Girls One Gun

Two Girls One Gun is the latest production by Comedy Gold, aka Phoebe Caldeiro and Nina Hogg. It’s doing a one-week run at BATS Theatre. We’ve seen this duo in two previous productions, Cocked & Loaded, and When Booty Calls. Based on our past experience, we knew what we were in for this time, as they take on the spy genre.

But first, as always, dinner. I’ve been trying to get into Koji for a while now – since I first noticed it, in fact. It’s a sister restaurant to Rosella, which we’ve been to a few times, located on the ground floor on Majoribanks Street in Mount Victoria. Unfortunately it is highly popular as a local restaurant for the denizens of Mount Vic, so this time I booked well in advance and secured a table. It’s Japanese-inspired shared plates, and our waiter tried to entice us into their “Just Feed Me” option (which Rosella also do) but time constraints led us to selecting from the menu, where we had oysters (natch!), salmon pie tee, roasted broccoli, dumplings and beef carpaccio. All very good, and we tried their oriental cocktails as well – mine was a martini with sake and yuzu-infused vodka, Nicola had a yuzu, grapefruit and infused tequila concoction. We’ll definitely be back, and will make time for the feed me option.

BATS is just around the corner, so we trotted round and arrived with plenty of time. As we entered the auditorium, both performers were dangling from the ceiling on Mission Impossible-type rigs, doing various twirls with greater or less success. Then the lights went down, they released themselves from the harnesses, and the show began.

The opening sequence sounds a lot like (but not enough to infringe copyright) a James Bond theme, and the two actors do a creditable imitation of the opening titles to a Bond film. The basic plot is that agent Vaja Steele has been demoted from MI6 to MI3.5, and isn’t happy about it. To try to get her old job back, she undertakes a mission to recover a drive which contains details of all of MI6’s agents. The mission fails, and her partner and friend Lorraine is killed. After the funeral, the undeterred Vaja tries again, and encounters a Russian agent, Titsa Dynamite, who tells her that not only does the drive contain MI6’s details, but also those of Russian SVR agents. So begins Vaja’s greatest challenge to date: teamwork!

As usual, the dialogue is peppered with double entendres, single entendres, and various references to spy movies – Bond, Bourne and MI all get a look-in, and even Atomic Blonde and Evelyn Salt get a mention. The fight scenes are well choreographed, and also the obligatory gymnastics-through-the-laser-alarm-system routine, where fortunately they find the cleaners’ off switch. I mean, the cleaners can’t do gymnastics, can they? There’s also a reference to the “Apparition Arrangement”. “You mean the Ghost Protocol?” “No, there’s too much copyright!” Again, music reminiscent of Mission Impossible plays, but not quite close enough to infringe.

It's all a jolly jape, and only lasts 50 minutes. But as the blurb says, it has more jokes and punches per minute than any other spy-comedy debuting at BATS Theatre in July. And you can’t really ask for more than that.