Thoughts On Cruising

We’ve been cruising up the Danube on the Viking Gullveig – a purpose-built river cruise ship. Viking is the largest operator on the Danube – whilst we have seen plenty of other ships, there are often two or three Viking ships at each place we’ve stopped at. Danube cruising is clearly big business! Looking at the Danube itself, however, is not that edifiying. Fortunately, there’s not much actual river cruising to watch. On the first stretch we did in daylight, the river was boring as hell, with not much to see. The Wachau valley was a bit more interesting, with picturesque towns to cruise past. Most of the travel is done at night.

Viking Gullveig

The ship contains 95 “staterooms”, which kinda devalues the word. They come in five different sizes over three decks, with the better rooms on the upper decks. Some of these have a balcony, although when you use it is a bit of a mystery, as, in addition, there is plenty of public space: the lounge, like the rest of the enclosed ship, is airconditioned, and the top deck is open to the sunshine – at least it was to us, but sometimes it rains. Also on the top deck is a walking course for those that like to keep their steps up without leaving the ship, a couple of mini-golf holes of no difficulty whatsoever, and something that may or may not be deck quoits. I haven’t seen anyone taking advantage of these activities – but then again, I haven’t been looking. We’ve mostly been to the top deck only to watch the ship going through a lock, or on the one occasion when we did scenic cruising. There’s a little, but not much, shaded area under an awning but otherwise you’re exposed to the heat and sun (37°C for the first couple of days).

The standard stateroom is quite snug. The bathroom is even snugger. It’s cosy; it’s slim-fit. The shower is very narrow, maybe it’s bigger in the larger staterooms on the upper decks. Unguents are provided in the bathroom, and it’s cleaned daily along with the rest of the cabin. There’s plenty of storage in the cabin for clothes, and a fridge (for what? We keep water in ours). there are also plenty of power points, both European and American, but only one USB, for your devices – so remember to bring an adapter. There’s also a large-screen television, but bugger all to watch on it.

There’s wifi on board, but it’s not very fast so you’re not going to be able to stream movies etc on it. It just about services social media and email.

There are 95 staterooms, for a maximum capacity of 190 passengers. Each room has an en-suite, so there are 95 toilets on board. Because of this, there are no additional toilets in the public areas – you have to go back to your cabin. No children are allowed, and the majority of passengers are “of a certain age”. We’re not the youngest, but we’re probably in the bottom decile.

The majority of guests are American, with a few UKers thrown in for good measure, and, I think, one French couple. We were the only kiwis. Everything is conducted in English. Americans will tell you where they’re from: “North-west Arkansas” – yeah, I can’t find the whole of Arkansas on a map, let alone the North-west part of it. And they Never. Stop. Talking.

One of the great things about cruising is that you can switch off and let someone else take over the decision-making. You can’t switch off entirely, however, as there are optional tours to be taken as well as those included in the price of the tour – typically a walking tour of the city you’ve just arrived in is included.

We’ve taken a number of additional tours, including an all-day tour to Bratislava. Whichever excursion you decide on, you’ll generally need to be up early to take it. Buses usually leave early in the morning – 8:00am onwards (the one exception to this is when we cruised overnight to our next berth and didn’t arrive until 9:30am – but the buses were ready and waiting for immediate embarkation).

Walking tours of cities involves pounding the pavement. Walking shoes which are comfortable on concrete are necessary. Mine also have ankle support, it depends on what you’re comfortable in.

The excursions we’ve been on have all included an amount of free time to wander about the city, usually at the end of the walking tour. The guides give a time and place to rendezvous. Some people don’t understand this – on one occasion we left with two people short as they were holding us up too long. Don’t be that couple, get to the rendezvous. If it’s unclear (on one occasion it was) – check with the guide what time to be back or how long you have. Especially important if your boat is about to leave when you get back!

In the heat of July you’re advised to stay hydrated. Fresh water bottles are handed out as you leave the boat at the beginning of each tour, and a distressingly large number of people are taking these. We refill ours and stick them in the fridge for the following day. Unfortunately there’s no-one to observe this virtue signalling.

The food is to a good standard and there is plenty of choice.

Tea, coffee and water are always available on a self-service basis from machines outside the lounge. There aren’t any kettles or similar in the rooms, as you might see in land-based hotels – probably because of the high voltage required to operate, and safety considerations.

There’s a wide selection of all types of breakfast – cooked, continental, cereals, fruits. The chef is on hand to cook eggs your way – omelette, scrambled, fried. There were rumours of eggs benedict one morning but I didn’t see hide nor hair of them. They’ll offer you orange juice, but if you want something else (tomato in my case), just ask for it.

Lunch has a couple of choices and you can eat three courses if you wish. There is a danger of over-eating aboard! On all-day excursions lunch is included. We chose not to come back to the boat after our morning tour of Vienna and found somewhere ourselves to eat in the city.

There’s an “available every day” menu at lunch and dinner if none of the daily-changing menu grabs you – burgers, Caesar salad, steak, chicken etc. I saw someone eating a burger and it looked kinda basic. So far I haven’t needed to stray from the daily menu.

The evening menu has a local speciality menu (one choice of starter, main and dessert), two more options on the changing menu, or you can order from the “available every day” menu. Drinks (wine and beer) are included at lunch and dinner. Other drinks, spirits and cocktails (pre- and after dinner) have to be paid for, although the staff appear to be a bit dilatory in taking room numbers, particularly if it’s just wine and beer. In fact, we haven’t paid for any cocktails either.

Some people have bought an “all you can drink” package for €150. This is only really worth it if you’re drinking spirits and cocktails all night and plan to get completely arseholed every night. Each to their own.

In the lounge there’s a pianist (ours is called Titi) who plays lounge music in the afternoon and evening. Drinks in the lounge generally start around 5:00pm. There’s usually a briefing on the next day’s activities just before dinner at 6:45pm – earlier if there’s more details to get through, such as when we had our disembarkation briefing. After dinner there’s more piano-playing, and on two nights, quiz-type games to be played, hosted by the Programme Director, Krzysztof.

Is it any good? It’s expensive, no doubt, which accounts for the profile of the clientele. One of the excursions was on the pricey side – as one of the UK passengers commented, you could fly to Vienna yourself for the cost of that concert. On the other hand, we can’t do that from New Zealand. Also, for many passengers, the cost of tipping has been factored into the price. Overall, we’ve got what we paid for – the service and cleanliness are excellent, the staff are friendly, and we’ve learnt a lot more from the tour guides than we would have if we’d just been travelling to these places. We have also added on four days – in Nuremberg and Prague, with additional tours there as well. It’s great to have done it, but we’d like to come back and spend more time in some of the cities that we’ve visited in order to explore them more fully. Just waiting for those Lotto numbers to come up first!