The Little Mermaid

It’s Christmas! Well, almost. So far I have avoided #Whamageddon, but last night we went out for that traditional Christmas entertainment, The Panto.

The show starts at 6:30pm as it does attract an audience of small people as well as grown-ups, so we booked an early table at Field & Green. Unfortunately we didn’t have time for ice-cream, so had main courses only, of duck breast and snapper (not together). Field & Green never fails to deliver, and everything was as tasty as usual.

Then across the street to Circa Theatre, where there was a queue outside as people were scanning their vaccination passports. They do really need to find a more efficient way to do this than just having someone with a phone or tablet scanning each one each time you enter a venue.

The panto follows the usual format of a fairy tale, with topical political references and smutty innuendo for the grown-ups. This year's story is The Little Mermaid. The story is set in Wellington Heights, the only part of Wellington still above water in the year 3021. King Lando played by Simon Leary is at war with the Merpeople who live under the sea, led by Neptuna. The cast is led by Circa stalwart Gavin Rutherford as Shelly Bay, and her son Lyall. Coral (the actual mermaid) is played by Natasha McAllister. There’s plenty of songs, from Sweet Child Of Mine to Baby One More Time and Walking On Broken Glass, and lots of “he’s behind you!” and “Oh, no I didn’t!” -ing going on, as well as booing the villain, Bermuda (Neptuna’s sister).

All a jolly good romp, and it played to a packed full house, which is great to see.

Traffic Lights

It’s quiet…too quiet. Yes, whilst the rest of the world has been getting on with life, New Zealand has continued in lockdown, at Level 2 for most of the country (maximum gathering size 100, so no festivals, concerts, gigs, sports crowds, or anything generally fun), and Auckland remaining in Level 3 – even worse, but they’ve recently introduced some easing of restrictions so you can get a haircut and a take-away. Just as a reminder, we went into a “3-day lockdown” on August 18^th, and have now been under the current restrictions for 106 days. That’s in addition to three shorter periods earlier in the year, bringing the total number of days under some kind of restriction to 123 days so far this year.

On Friday, though, that all changes, as the government does away with the old Level 1 - Level 4 system, and introduces the new Traffic Lights. Most of the country will move to Orange, whilst Auckland and surounding areas, and some parts of Northland, will remain at Red. No-one will get Green. The difference between the new and old systems is the level of freedom which will be afforded to vaccinated compared to the unvaxxed, and also how businesses will trade depending on whether they adopt the Government’s new app allowing them to capture the vaccination status of their customers. As vaccination rates in New Zealand top 90%, the dwindling number of deniers will find themselves unable to access any venues which demand a vaccination passport.

What does this mean for us? Cricket matches at The Basin – with crowds! There’s the Super Smash T20 competition coming up, and a lot of test matches, so that’s good. Gigs – Ladyhawke is still rearranging hers, but we have tix to see You Am I and Midnight Oil next year. Theatre – we can go to Circa, although they have remained open in Level 2, with just a restriction on numbers. Cinemas no longer need to block off alternate rows of seats. Pub quiz – we no longer have to remain seated at our tables, and the pub can undo the spacing of tables and allow – whisper it! – standing! Bar service! As far as Zealandia goes, tour groups can return to full size, so hopefully we’ll start seeing a pick-up in tour visitors over the Christmas and New Year period.

We’re still waiting for the abolition of MIQ in its entirety, but travel is now allowed into New Zealand in a phased programme, starting with fully-vaxxed returning New Zealanders and eligible Australians, from Australia: 17 January; fully-vaxxed New Zealanders from “non-high risk” countries (currently 9 Southern African countries plus Papua New Guinea) from 14 February; and foreign nationals from “non-high risk” countries from 1 May. Travellers not going into MIQ must test negative pre-departure and on arrival, self-isolate for 7 days, and get a final negative test before “entering the community”. This isn’t really going to work for the tourist industry, is it? “Hey, come to New Zealand and spend your first week self-isolating!”

Further details are “to follow” on this, but at least it looks like our trip to the Northern hemisphere next year will now be feasible.

Live Through This

Circa Theatre is back in a limited way whilst we’re still (STILL!) in Covid Alert level 2. Why are we in Level 2? Because the stupid government can’t sort itself out. They’re only now thinking about saliva tests and Covid passports…why weren’t they planning ahead and thinking of this 6 months ago? Idiots. Anyway, that's why I haven't blogged much recently...there's not been much happening.

As always, dinner first. We were on a bit of a tight schedule so we headed for old faves Field & Green, as they’re conveniently close to Circa. As it was, we ended with loads of time to spare as Nicola’s last job of the afternoon didn’t take very long. We parked Hollywood-fashion and were there in plenty of time, to have kingfish and salmon dishes, followed by F&G’s home-made ice cream, which is one of the reasons we go there!

Then across the road in the rain, and into Circa. Tonight’s show, Live Through This, is in fact two separate one-person shows, not really interlinked, offering two different personal points of view of life in Wellington. The first, performed by Jonny Potts, is entitled The Best Show In Town Is At Your Place Every Night. Phew! No wonder they included it in a much shorter-titled duet. Jonny appears, dancing to Ben Lee’s Hard Drive, and then As Time Goes By, before starting off on his monologue/travelogue, in which he remembers the days of the video store on every high street. As the programme notes mention, the video store came and went in one generation…it was both preceded and outlived by its closest relatives, the book store and the record store. He takes us on a tour of Wellington’s suburbs, and describes the nature and character of the video stores to be found in each…except Hataitai. There’s no video store in Hataitai, because they’re all too busy having sex. Whilst some suburbs boast a 24-hour video store, Hataitai has a 24-hour bakery, for all those hungry shaggers. During his journey, he references an unnamed partner, and they end up sharing a cask of wine in a park in Newtown. Ultimately, it’s a wistful, nostalgic look at his mis-spent youth.

The next look at someone’s past is somewhat darker. After the interval, the set has changed from Video Store: Interior to Astrology Shop. The second monologue is a personal history of death: how Jean Sergent, the protagonist, suffered the loss of both her flatmate and cousin, followed by her younger brother, in the same year, when she was in her early twenties; and the effect that these two deaths had on her. In it she provides us with Top Tips For Losing Your Brother, consults various New Age therapists, reads her tarot, and ultimately delivers her own eulogy.

Both of these performances had been at BATS Theatre, as standalone shows, during last year’s Fringe Festival. Does bringing them together add anything to the whole? Possibly, as one may be seen as too lightweight without the counterweight of the darker second half, which would also seem too brooding and downbeat without the preceding half. Get me, practising for Pseud’s Corner here!

The Sister Of Smokey

Once again my Burger Wellington mission was thwarted in my quest for a beef burger. This time, I’d taken a fancy to Little Beer Quarter’s Eat Y’Self Fitter. Sadly, LBQ have decided not to open at lunchtime whilst we’re still at Covid Alert level 2. Bugger. Around the corner from LBQ, however, is perennial favourites Burger Liquor. They’re an establishment that sells both burger and liquor, hence the name (as many full-time burger joints only sell fizzy drinks and shakes).

It’s another chicken burger, entitled The Sister Of Smokey. The Smokey, of course, is one of their standard burgers, and very tasty it is too. The Sister is a chicken alternative to the beef of smokey, but otherwise seems to emulate it in most other details. It’s described like this: Buttermilk fried chicken with prosciutto, pink onion strings, triple cheese sauce and Alabama white sauce in an Arobake sage bun. The Garage Project beer match is Raspberry Cabaret, which is a sour beer. I’m not a big fan of sour beers, so I switched out to BL’s house lager.

It looks like this:

This was a good burger, The chicken thigh was quite thick, so took a bit of biting through, but the burger maintained its integrity despite this, and the crispy onions were tasty too. There could have been more prosciutto – another slice would’ve really given the burger more of an alternate flavour. As it was, it was barely discernible. The main letdown was the fries – shoestring chips that should have been crispy, but turned out to be a bit droopy. I scored this another 7/10.

Boozy Bird

A visit to Zealandia is always a good time to stop off in town and try a burger. On this occasion, I headed to one of my favourite burger haunts in non-WOAP times, Choice Bros. Their wagyu burger is a staple and one of the best burgers generally available in Wellington. They’ve gone with chicken for Burger Wellington.

The Boozy Bird is described thus: IPA-brined fried chicken with housemade bacon jalapeño and yellow cardi jam, pickled radicchio leaf and pickled daikon in a Zaida's black and white sesame seed Turkish bun with thick-cut fries. As Choice Bros is a microbrewery, it would be invidious to ask them to supply a Garage Project beer to match it…instead, one of their own brews, Starman, is the order of the day.

It looks like this:

The chicken breast had been hammered flat and fried. I didn’t detect any particular IPA-ness to the flavour, but it was certainly brined and juicy. One of the issues with using a schnitzel-style chicken as your patty is the burger-to-meat ratio; this was solved by supplying two pieces of chicken, so it was a satisfyingly thick burger. The bun held together well, and the pickled daikon added a bit of crunch and zinginess to the burger. The fries were also good. Overall, a good burger, I scored this a 7/10.

Deli Classic

We’d been up to the Botanic Gardens for a walk and to admire the tulips. They’re only just beginning, so had mercifully escaped the ravages of the storms of the last few days, and a lot of them have yet to bloom. Some years they get absolutely ripped to shreds in the Wellington wind, but so far this year they seem to be OK.

Heading through town, we called Pickle & Pie to see if they had availability under the current 50 person maximum (now thankfully relaxed back to 100 people, which is what the old Covid Level 2 maximum was), and yes! They could. At the oddly-specific time of 1240. We arrive in time and were seated, then both went for the Deli Classic.

Pickle & Pie normally specialise in…anyone?...anyone? Yes, pies, served with pickles. We’ve been there in the past and always been pleased with their fare, each time resolving to go there more often. But with Wellington City Council’s war on cars we hardly ever go into the CBD these days, depriving them (and other venues) of our custom. Ah well. When the CBD is a deserted wasteland I’m sure the council will be happy. Pickle & Pie's burger is what I call a "meat sandwich": Pepper-crusted beef with truffle cheese sauce, mushroom, capsicum and onions in a Dough Bakery brewers grain bun, with gravy, dill pickles and fries. The Garage Project beer match is once again Arvo XPA. I had that, and Nicola had a glass of rosé.

It looks like this: 

This was quite a dry meat sandwich, and easily pickup-able…so I did. There wasn’t much hint of the pepper crust in mine, so it was a little bland. Also the cheese sauce had been sparingly applied – I felt it could have done with more. The pickle was super vinegary, and I didn’t finish it. The chips were good, and the gravy (more of a jus, really) was tasty. It was a very acceptable meat sandwich, but not really anything out of the ordinary. I scored it a 7/10.

Big Yen

Iron Horse, formerly known as Gasworks, has been a Miramar institution for a number of years now. Not noted for fine dining, but they can produce decent pub grub. We’d tried to get there earlier in the week only to find them closed (even though all their media said they were open), so took the precaution of phoning and booking in advance this time. This was also due to trying, and failing once more, to get into Café Polo, who couldn’t accommodate us until 1:30pm because of the 50-person maximum rule currently in force. As Nicola was working this wasn’t feasible.

Iron Horse was practically deserted. There was one other table, and that was it. Still, we ploughed on, and ordered a burger. The Big Yen (did they mean Big Yin?) is described thus: PrimeStar prime Angus beef patty with fried haggis, Whittaker's 72% chocolate and chipotle mole, smoked tomatillo salsa, pickled onions and baconnaise in a Brezelmania bun, with hash bites. The Garage Project beer match is Cereal Milk Stout – not a style of beer I usually go for, but I gave it a try anyway.

It looked like this:

 The unique feature of this burger is the haggis component. Now, haggis is normally quite soft and squishy, but this one had been formed into a patty and then fried to within an inch of its life. The chocolate and chipotle mole was superfluous as it was completely overwhelmed by the salsa. The baconnaise appeared to be simply mayo with bits of bacon in it, rather than a proper mayo made with bacon. Given the chewiness of the haggis and the large quantity of salsa, I didn’t even attempt to pick this burger up, as this would have been a recipe for instant burger collapse. The hash bites were crisp and salty, so a good accompaniment. I felt that although this burger had some good components, they’re tried too hard to stuff everything into it, and the ingredients were unbalanced – way too much salsa, and the haggis overcooked. Not the best, and I scored it a 6/10.