Hugh Cornwell

Hugh Cornwell...I recognise that name…isn’t he in The Stranglers? Actually, he departed The Stranglers in 1990 and has since toured and recorded 10 studio albums as a solo artist (as many as he made with The Stranglers). He’s touring Australia and New Zealand at the moment, so we thought we’d pop along to see him.

He was playing at the San Fran, so, as is becoming tradition, we went to pizza joint Santeria beforehand. Excellent as ever. The San Fran doors weren’t opening until 8:00pm on this occasion – indicating that there was no support act – so we whiled away some time in Cuba Street’s S&M Bar. Cuba Street, despite being full of restaurants and shops, has few decent bars – there’s a couple of very pubby pubs – but S&M is an oasis of calm…at least, at 7:30pm. S&M stands for “Scotty & Mal’s” before you go getting any ideas.

We’d been to see The Stranglers a few years ago – the remnants of the original band, with a new singer. As Cornwell was really the creative force behind the band’s success, they’ve really become a heritage act playing their greatest hits; despite having also recorded a further eight albums since Cornwell’s departure, that no-one listens to.

Cornwell, however, does not take this approach. Up front at the beginning of the show (after two songs I didn’t recognise), he told us he’d be playing two songs from a solo album, followed by a Stranglers “nugget”, as he called it. Some of these “nuggets” were also songs I didn’t know, rather than big hit singles. This may have been due to the fact that they were performing as a three-piece, without a keyboard player, so probably couldn’t do justice to tracks like Golden Brown. So, overall, I recognised five songs from the complete set, and two of those were in the encore: Skin Deep, Strange Little Girl, There’s Always The Sun, Nice ‘n Sleazy, and Hanging Around. Of the rest of the songs, the sound was somewhat monochromatic. Unlike a lot of bands, they’re not forever changing guitars between songs – everything is played on the same instruments, and of course with Cornwell's distinctive voice, it still sounded rather, well, Strangley. Which is no bad thing, I hasten to add. I’ll be going shopping to pick up one of his solo albums – four tracks from the latest, Moments of Madness, featured in the set. Hopefully there’s a bit more variety in the studio versions. And then, we’ll see…

 

Two Girls One Gun

Two Girls One Gun is the latest production by Comedy Gold, aka Phoebe Caldeiro and Nina Hogg. It’s doing a one-week run at BATS Theatre. We’ve seen this duo in two previous productions, Cocked & Loaded, and When Booty Calls. Based on our past experience, we knew what we were in for this time, as they take on the spy genre.

But first, as always, dinner. I’ve been trying to get into Koji for a while now – since I first noticed it, in fact. It’s a sister restaurant to Rosella, which we’ve been to a few times, located on the ground floor on Majoribanks Street in Mount Victoria. Unfortunately it is highly popular as a local restaurant for the denizens of Mount Vic, so this time I booked well in advance and secured a table. It’s Japanese-inspired shared plates, and our waiter tried to entice us into their “Just Feed Me” option (which Rosella also do) but time constraints led us to selecting from the menu, where we had oysters (natch!), salmon pie tee, roasted broccoli, dumplings and beef carpaccio. All very good, and we tried their oriental cocktails as well – mine was a martini with sake and yuzu-infused vodka, Nicola had a yuzu, grapefruit and infused tequila concoction. We’ll definitely be back, and will make time for the feed me option.

BATS is just around the corner, so we trotted round and arrived with plenty of time. As we entered the auditorium, both performers were dangling from the ceiling on Mission Impossible-type rigs, doing various twirls with greater or less success. Then the lights went down, they released themselves from the harnesses, and the show began.

The opening sequence sounds a lot like (but not enough to infringe copyright) a James Bond theme, and the two actors do a creditable imitation of the opening titles to a Bond film. The basic plot is that agent Vaja Steele has been demoted from MI6 to MI3.5, and isn’t happy about it. To try to get her old job back, she undertakes a mission to recover a drive which contains details of all of MI6’s agents. The mission fails, and her partner and friend Lorraine is killed. After the funeral, the undeterred Vaja tries again, and encounters a Russian agent, Titsa Dynamite, who tells her that not only does the drive contain MI6’s details, but also those of Russian SVR agents. So begins Vaja’s greatest challenge to date: teamwork!

As usual, the dialogue is peppered with double entendres, single entendres, and various references to spy movies – Bond, Bourne and MI all get a look-in, and even Atomic Blonde and Evelyn Salt get a mention. The fight scenes are well choreographed, and also the obligatory gymnastics-through-the-laser-alarm-system routine, where fortunately they find the cleaners’ off switch. I mean, the cleaners can’t do gymnastics, can they? There’s also a reference to the “Apparition Arrangement”. “You mean the Ghost Protocol?” “No, there’s too much copyright!” Again, music reminiscent of Mission Impossible plays, but not quite close enough to infringe.

It's all a jolly jape, and only lasts 50 minutes. But as the blurb says, it has more jokes and punches per minute than any other spy-comedy debuting at BATS Theatre in July. And you can’t really ask for more than that.

 

International Grand Magic Show

The International Grand Magic Show has been touring New Zealand, finishing up in Wellington’s Opera House. Who doesn’t like a bit of magic? We decided to go along to see what it’s all about.

Whilst not aimed exclusively at children, there were a lot of families in the audience, and the show started at 6:00pm. We decided, therefore, to dine afterwards rather than before, as is tradition. 

At the beginning, we were each handed four playing cards and told to hold onto them for later in the show. We’ll see what happens later…

The show consists mainly of traditional magic tricks – things appearing out of “nowhere”, chopping ladies into bits, escapology and death spikes, that sort of thing. In between there was a French comedian, Jean Phillippe (from Invercargill), who was more of a circus entertainer than actual magician. There was also a guest star from The Philippines, who did a lot of concealed flowers, canes, and confetti showers. Felicity Rogers, New Zealand’s only female magician, did a routine which was more interpretive dance than actual magic. And the Chinese mastermind, Mr. How – so-called because after his tricks, the audiences asks “How?” The show was compered by Reggie Gavel, who introduced each act and also gave us a bit of chat – largely, I suspect, to give time for the set-up of the next illusion.

Mr How’s final trick involved the whole audiences’ participation, and those four cards we’d been handed as we entered the theatre. The first thing we did was tear them in half, and then keep one half of one of the cards in our pocket. After that there was much shuffling, exchanging of half-cards with our neighbours on each side, then a routine of keeping one part, discarding the next, over and over, until there was just one half-card left. He then invited us to pull the original half-card from our pockets, and see if they matched…and they did! “How?” we all cried. That’s magic!

The show lasted just over two hours, and we’d booked into Kisa for 8:15pm. You remember that cunning plan I had when we went to Mr. Go’s a couple of days ago? Now it came to fruition, as we had an opportunity to use that voucher! We haven’t been to Kisa before, despite it being around for several years, as it’s usually impossible to get a table when we want to dine pre-show due to their policy of reserving half of their tables for walk-ins. All very admirable and democratic, sure, but if we’re going to eat pre-show we want to be certain that we’ve got a table, and they’re usually already full by that time. But this time, they had availability later at night (Wellingtonians – or at least those who dine out at restaurants you have to book – are usually all tucked in bed by 10pm), so we were able to break our duck. Kisa offer Eastern Mediterranean food, on the same basis as many places (including Mr. Go’s) where you order a series of plates and they arrive willy-nilly. We had smacked cucumber, braised fennel, flank steak kebabs, and goat mince flatbread, and very nice it was too. We’ll go back when we can get a table again.

Sense & Sensibility

Yes, the classic tale is on at Circa Theatre, this time credited to Jane Austen and Penny Ashton. Remember her? She’s done several Austen-related productions – Austen Found, Promise & Promiscuity, and a Dickensian adaptation, Olive Copperbottom, with the inimitable Mrs Scabbybits.

In the past she’s been confined to one-or two-handers, but this time we’re in Circa One with a full-on production featuring six – yes six! count ‘em! – actors, playing a total of 22 characters. The main characters, the Dashwood sisters, are the sole roles for the top-billed actors, but everyone else has to double up and play multiple roles.

The show is a 6:30 start, so we went to old favourites Mr.Go’s for an early dinner. We decided to mix it up and not go for our usual order, so we forwent the Korean chicken wings and typhoon prawns in favour of pork dumplings and Xinjiang lamb, and Minchi from their current regional featured menu, Macau. All very tasty as ever. They’re currently running a promotion if you dine there and spend over $70, which is to get $25 off at any of their restaurants (Mr. Go’s, Ombra, and Kisa) next time. A plan was put into effect…

It's a five-minute walk down Taranaki Street to get to Circa, and we were there in plenty of time. The stage set was fairly bare, with a lot of movable furniture which could be wheeled on and off, as required. Penny Ashton, for once, is not on the stage – this time she’s graduated to sound and graphic designer, and director.

The play follows the story fairly accurately. Without the special effects afforded a film set, the improvised coach rides, including overnight stops, were hilariously rendered. Doorways and hedges, beds and chairs were used to give different settings in London, Devonshire (as it was then known)  and Sussex. The characterisations, especially of the supporting characters, have been exaggerated – largely so you can tell them apart, as they are often played by the same person’ Notably Amy Tarleton, who covers four of the male characters, as well as Fanny and Miss Grey. Time passing was indicated by supporting characters running across the stage, one holding an hourglass and the other holding a placarding reading March, which she flipped over to show May…and then back again with another that read June, flipped to August. There! Six months have elapsed!

The dialogue, whilst retaining the flavour and essence of Austen’s, has also been updated with a few modern jokes slipped in from time to time. Despite the seriousness of the original, this is, if not exactly played for laughs, certainly a comedic interpretation of the original.

The music, from the William Tell overture to Beethoven, also encompassed more modern renditions, notably Bonnie Tyler’s Holding Out For A Hero, when the cad* Willoughby rescues Marianne, and Eurythmics’ Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This) for the dream sequence at the beginning of Act 2; both in orchestral versions of the tune. There were also other modern songs included but I was unable to put my finger on them other than recognising the tune.

All’s well that ends well, and it’s a jolly romp through Austen. Next up is Ashton’s take on some fella from Stratford on Avon, later in the year…looking forward to that as well.

 

* Spoiler alert.